At least that's how I remember it.
Does it matter that I was heavily under the influence of some delicious narcotics?
Imagine this.
Not to get confused with Mambo #5.
Ahem.
Yes, a bone biopsy.
Not to be confused with a bone....er, never mind.
Whee.
So to help me get through this procedure they pumped me up with some delicious narcotics.
And it was groovy.
Oh, so groovy.
Me likey.
However, once the procedure was done, I was in major loopy mode. And I remember the doctor saying something like, "I need to disengage the blah, blah, blah." Or maybe he said, "I need to slap this woman for farting during the procedure."
I don't know exactly.
All I know is after he said these words, I heard an enormous clapping noise!
And I screamed.
Out loud.
In the room.
The doctor assured me that I was okay and that nothing bad had happened to me.
However, I beg to differ.
I think he slapped me.
And when I was in the recovery room I mentioned it to the nurse.
"He really scared me when he slapped me."
Insert monotone Charlie Brown Teacher Voice here.
"The doctor did not slap you Mrs. Quirky."
"It was really loud!"
"The doctor did not slap you Mrs. Quirky."
Boy, they got those nurses trained!
To a tee.
However, I still maintain that he slapped me.
Now.
Any good lawyers out there?
Anyone?
Anyone?
B.S. No nurses or doctors were harmed or slapped during the production of this post.
17 comments:
My mother claims that after her bowel surgery the doctors dropped her on the floor while moving her back to her rolling bed. I seriously doubt it.
I used to be a professional body piercer and people frequently passed out. Slapping them was fairly common practice.
Never had drugs during a CT scan, I don't think. And I never got slapped after one. But I want whatever you're having. (Did you insult this guy.)
You tooted that slap!!!!!
You can send Evil Twin back to me. She is obviously causing too many problems for you. :)
I know of a few doctors I'D like to slap, including Nurse Robot who would have told you he didn't slap you even if he had bounced you off the wall.
Sorry I haven't been around, Quirks. I got sucked into another month long blogging challenge. But, I digress... that doctor definitely slapped you! I believe you! There... do you feel vindicated?
If you say so!
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When I was a child I went to a doctor who scared me, so I started crying and the SOB actually did slap me. Never liked doctors since. Cancer cells at lumbar 4? I'm really sorry to hear that, my friend.
I'd threaten the lawsuit, but then drop it if he came across with a big old bag full of the groovy drugs.
Hope all is well. I'm saying a prayer for you when this posts.
No offense, but I'm sure you had it coming.
Nah, probably not. Just to be safe, at your next appointment, slap him first. That'll do the trick.
Oooh, what's with the spammers??? Sic that Doctor on 'em! I know he slapped you. Well, you just tell him your bloggy buddies are watching him...HUMPH!!!! Love ya, Quirky!
Okay, seriously lady... You are a riot. And I could use a dose of you in my life.
Your newest stalker,
Missy
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