Monday, January 7, 2013

My Mortality

The other day I was sitting at church with my two sons in tow.

Mr. Quirky was sick (allegedly).

Okay. He is sick. And heaven help me!

It's a good thing I was the one who got cancer.

Sheesh.

Big Baby Much?

Yes, compassion is one of my strengths.

*insert cheesy smile here*

Anyway, so my nine-year-old was sitting right next to me and kept on gazing at me in adoration.

No, really, he does.

He tells me all the time how much he loves me, how I'm the best Mom in the whole universe, how beautiful I am.

Sweet, no?

Yes, I think so too.

So while we were sitting there he kept on touching my hair.

I'm okay with that.

Then he whispered into my ear: "Mom, why do you have so many gray hairs?"

"Because I'm old son."

His eyes widened in horror.

You'd think I had told him I was a zombie or something.

Then, "Mom, that bothers me!"

To which I had no reply. I was surprised.

I asked him, "Why?"

"Because I don't want you to be old Mom!"

Awwww.

Yeah, it dawned on him: old people die.

I'm old.

I'm gonna die.

Life is harsh.

But does this mean I need to start dying my hair? More often than once a year? I truly resent that the grays have come back in so quickly. I stopped plucking them because... they're growing back in real wiry and kinky.

I have nothing against kinky.

But it doesn't float my boat.

So I bought some Grecian Formula For Men. Only it's for ME. Until I read the stoopid directions. It's recommended NOT to wash your hair for a week after the first use.

What the hair?

That doesn't float my boat either.

I must wash my hair DAILY. Sometimes even twice! (Well, in the summertime. Trust me, it's a necessity.)

So do I continue to flaunt my mortality to my young son? Or do I brave greasy limp hair for one week?

Garsh, I hope not.

Because that would be even MORE harsh.

However... it might help me get into one of those People of Walmart pictures.

And it would be nice to have a taste of fame whilst still living.

Or not.







B.S. Where's the cheesecake? If I'm gonna die, I want to die happy.

13 comments:

Stephen Hayes said...

It's always touching and poignant when our children notice our signs of aging. I remember when our son was small and he'd sit on my lap and ask me why I had grey splinters all over my face--I hadn't shaved that day.

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

Awwww, he loves his mommy so much!!!

lotta joy said...

YOU NEVER TOLD ME HOW MUCH HE ACTIVELY ADORES YOU!!! I take back all my advice on leaving them in a strange city and driving away.

When I was in denial (like you) I used the men's touch up that is advertised to ONLY cover the gray. I can't think of the name right now, but it worked and there were no problems washing every day. (I do)

You (of course) grabbed the wrong box.

I suggest you encourage the gray and let your son wait on you hand and foot. Moaning (more than you already do), should get him doing the laundry too!

ReformingGeek said...

Forget the hair color. Try a Marks-a-lot. Hee Hee. That should do it. Just keep it away from Evil Twin, though. She's gets a little too excited.....I'm still sanding above my lip.

Chris@Knucklehead! said...

Very sweet. And just white-out the last N in "Grecian Formula for Men" and that should take care of the problem.

otin said...

I have lots of gray hairs...at least 50 shades.

injaynesworld said...

If the Grecian doesn't, try a "Marks-A-Lot" They come in the prettiest shades. ;)

nonamedufus said...

Dye your hair gray, Quirks and keep Jr guessing.

Suldog said...

Hmmmmmmm. My usual advice to a woman asking such a question would be for you to skip dyeing your hair, period, because there's nothing at all wrong with a woman's naturally colored mane (even if gray.) You threw in the qualifier of making your kid feel safer and happier, though, so it's a tough one.

How about if you ask the kid to wear a blindfold?

Paula Wooters said...

Can I borrow your son, Quirky? Because I could use some adoring looks. Then again, I bet I have more grey hair than you, so he'd probably just start measuring me for a coffin. *sigh*

Hannah Denski said...

: ))) I smell special moment! x

Ed Welter, the crayon historian said...

Just tell him the white hares were the ones that wore sunblock...

Collette said...

I was also going to suggest the marker, but I was too late. I stopped plucking the ones on my head, but the chin & mustache ones that just started appearing, they have got to go!