The Day...

No, not when the world ended.

That's in two more days.

*yawn*

No, did I ever tell you about the day I accidentally found out I was on chemo?

Yeah.

Only me.

Now every blessed year since I was initially diagnosed with the Big "C" I have a terrible bout of what I like to call: coughalitis.

Basically, I'm trying to cough up a lung from September to roughly about January.

Yes, it's a cough/tickle that plagues me.

And for those of you who believe that the Lord works in mysterious ways?

Apparently, He also works in NOT so mysterious ways.

He obviously wants me to keep my trap SHUT.

As long as I don't speak, I don't cough. But if I try to speak more than two or three words? I end up with a coughing fit that literally sounds like I'm trying to toss a lung (or two).

So last year (yes this story is old, like me), during one my regular visits, my oncologist finally said, "Get thee to the pulmonologist physician with haste!"

So I went.

And was sore disappointed. He was UNable to diagnose me. He said it was possibly one of two things: asthma or chronic bronchitis.

Well thanks for the 120 dollars I just wasted on this visit.

However, he did clue me into one important fact.

I'm on chemo.

What the?

Now typically when a person thinks of chemo, you think of the constant hurling (been there done that) and the beanie covering your hair loss (NOT been there, NOT done that).

Back in the summer of 2007, I was hurling cookies right and left. The only thing I could eat were Popsicles (but not the orange flavor! they left a bad bad aftertaste).

However, I never lost my hair.

I know. Who knew there were different types of chemo for different types of cancer.

That chemo left my hair alone.

But as I was sitting in the pulmonologist's office, he reviewed my current prescriptions with me.

I started listing off the master list:

Effexor (for a very depressed loon, yes, please play your violins for me and it better be nice!).
Lisinopril (whoops, my blood pressure is reaching for the stars these days and no it's not because I adore cheesecake. ahem.)

He nodded in understanding.

Then I mentioned: Arimidex.

Him: "Oh yeah, chemo."

Me in my head: CHEMO?

I'm on chemo?

Apparently I am and... nobody told me!

The Arimidex is an estrogen blocker and is considered a chemo drug!

And this one DOES mess with my hair.

As in beard and mustache much?

Ugh.

Oh well.

He did end up prescribing two different types of inhalers for me to use.

At first they worked.

Then he suggested trying to wean myself off from four puffs a day to... whatever my lungs could handle.

Apparently, not much.

I'm still at four puffs a day.

And still coughing.

And clueless.

But not hairless!






P.S. No pulmonologists were harmed during the production of this post.