Triumph!
Joy!
Bwahahahaha!
Okay, many moons ago I regaled my lovely readers with tales of woe concerning one of our dogs: Looney.
Yes, Looney is a corgi-mix that was abandoned at my vet's office (should've been my first clue). She had run out into traffic and had gotten hit. Miraculously, she lived (should've been my second clue).
My vet offered her to us (should've been my third clue) because he knew what dog lovers we are. And we were happy to take her (bad, bad, BAD). The vet assured us that her eye would heal and it did. She had no other broken body parts, like I said, a miracle (should've been my fourth clue).
She is evile.
Now, because we are such dog lovers we feel an intense sense of loyalty to our dogs (good or evile). So giving her away or dumping her at the pound is NOT an option for us. Despite her "evility" we love her.
I know. I know. So we're not only dog lovers, we're also stoopid.
*smile*
To her credit, Looney has a good disposition, never comes close to snarling at a kid no matter how many times they tug on her tail, and .....
I guess that's about it.
But, she is a runner.
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| My name is Looney. I live by the front door floor. |
It has been a huge trial for us.
We open the front door? Out she shoots like a bolt of lightning! And she is G. O. N. E. gone! We learned early on that we would have to entice her back into the den. Hence, we would grab a piece of bread and drive after her. After yelling, "Food!" and waving the piece of bread at her, she would trot back and jump into the car. After wolfing down the bread, she would breathe heavily on me dousing me with her not so lovely hot breath.
Then using her choke collar (really using it *evil grin*) I would usher her back into our abode.
Ay, yi, flippin' yi.
It got old really fast.
But this old girl?
She's smart.
She's like the velociraptors in the movie, Jurassic Park. Remember the scene where the man says, "They were testing the fence for weaknesses. They're problem solving."
That would also fit Looney to a tee.
We had to install a metal gate at the end of our (short) entry way. At first we had tried wooden gates (you know the collapsible child gates?) and she would CHEW them up and scoot through and be ready and waiting for us to return home and open the door to her freedom.
We felt we had found the solution with the metal gate. No way she can chew through that. And for many moons now, it has been a sound solution unless one of the kid's or their friends forgets to NOT open the gate until the front door is completely closed. Good times. Good friends. Good gravy!
However, a couple of weeks ago, something really eerie happened.
I walked my younger son to school. I know without a shadow of a doubt that the gate was securely closed behind me as I left the house. However, upon my return I nonchalantly unlocked and opened the door when to my surprise should appear... an evile Looney shooting through the door! Of course, our other mutt, Maisy, quickly jumped over the gate and off they went for an adventure.
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| My name is Maisy. Look Mom! I jump high! |
That day, I was carless. (That's another post about my piece of crap Chevy).
I had no way of going after them.
Dayum dogs.
Thank goodness it was another 110 degree day, because they returned quickly. Too hot for their pads. But this happened again like TWO more times. And the mystery?
The gate was closed every time I walked back in the door!
What the Looney?
How on EARTH did she get out?
Yes, I walked into the house after they had bolted and the metal gate was SECURE.
What the Loon?
Yesterday, I busted her. I heard a soft clanging against metal. I softly walked to the hallway and peeked around the corner.
There was Looney.
Doing the Looney Shuffle! Up against the gate she was gently prodding and bumping.
She was testing for weaknesses.
And she found it!
She has learned if she bumps up against it enough times, she can cause it to unlatch! It swings open, she saunters in, and sits and waits for opportunity to knock and open the door!
I wouldn't have believed if I hadn't seen it with my four eyes! (Did I mention my new glasses? They rock!)
So Mr. Quirky and I discussed at length the situation. We troubleshooted the gate. We brainstormed. And alas we found a new solution to the problem.
A spray bottle.
I filled up the spray bottle with water and now keep it by the front door.
*evil grin*
Today, upon returning from walking my son to school, I retrieved the water bottle. I gave it a couple of squirts to ensure it was working properly. I slowly cracked the door open to see a dark Looney muzzle appear! She was ready.
So was I.
Bwahahaha!
I let loose with the spray bottle.
And smiled with glee.
It worked!
Joy!
Triumph!
Success!
Did I mention joy?
B.S. No Corgis or Shepherd Mutts were harmed during the production of this post. Well, not physically, but emotionally? Perhaps, they were somewhat tortured. Bwahahahahahaha!
15 comments:
You are an "evil" anti-corgy device all by yourself. Be proud! ;-)
Dean
Http://leftcoastguy.com
Outside of a dog a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. That's about all I got on dogs, Quirks. They're cute guys...or girls.
We once owned a Corgy named Ellie. Our son brought home a girlfriend from college who looked at Ellie and said, "That's the biggest hamster I've ever seen!"
Just found your blog and love it!
Vlad would really like to have a corgi... I'll make him read this post before going forward with that idea. But seriously, Henry (aka Sir Poopsalot) figured out how to open the baby gate I installed in the kitchen within the first week. Plus, he's little, so he can dash out before you have a clue. A master of escape! Now... where did I leave that spray bottle?
Evil Twin loved this post. She has been communicating with your pup and channeling ideas on how to escape human prisons. Actually, I think the cat came up with most of the ideas.
Glad you out-smarted their plans.
Hee Hee.
(1) surprise them by entering through a window
(2) where is Chicklet during these escape plans
(3) what are you DOING to these guys to make them want to escape
(4) maybe they just want a piece of bread
Are you anti-invisible fence? I've seen those work to great effect.
Oh how frustrating! Let us know how this works in the long run (no pun intended!). If it doesn't, I'd make a call to Cesar asap!
Cute little evile bugger though!
I think you are as evil and demented as your escapist dogs.
Good for you.
You've found a way. Until they find another way.
Harry is a "runner" too, but frankly he's more stupid than evil. He will chase a squirrel in front of a train. He will chase a squirrel in front of a 18 wheeler going 150 mph. But he really cannot open our iron 6 foot gate. So he tries to tunnel out. Oy vey! You have pretty pups, even if they are evile!
I like you even more now that you've expanded to novella length!
It was a well-told and entertaining story. The Jurrassic reference tied it together nicely.
Sounds like your corgi and my goat should never be introduced- my feed boss goat has learned to jump over the half door in the barn, precariously balancing on the quarter inch plywood before hopping out and finding me to let her back in, requiring me to leave the top half closed all the time. I'm afraid if the two ever met, they'd take over the world together and we'd be helpless to stop them.
Your corgi is beautiful. I can't seem to understand how people can abandon pets. The spray bottle works everytime for me with my dogs. They HATE water!
Your corgi is beautiful. I can't seem to understand how people can abandon pets. The spray bottle works everytime for me with my dogs. They HATE water!
Smart and evillllle is a bad combination. I really liked your labels, btw.
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