While I was reading and commenting at Kablooey's blog, her word verification was this: mastectc.
Which of course reminded me that I've had one. A mastectc. Short for mastectomy.
Thank goodness for word verifications! I'd be lost without them. I had totally forgotten about mastectc being short for mastectomy.
Whay say ye?
I'm wrong?
Mastect is not short mastectomy?
No?
Oh, and here I thought it really was the abbreviated word for it and I was thanking "goodness" for word verifications as if she were responsible for all word verifications in the whole blog-world wide.
And hook, line, and sinker I thought she had actually taught me something this time. And yes, I've been known to have a few learning moments or two (or three, if I'm real lucky).
It's amazing when the synapses actually start firing! (But apparently NOT in this case. Ahem.)
Then about a week ago, Reffie at Confessions of a Reforming Geek, unintentionally gave me a new moniker: uniboober. I laughed so much at that name. Truth be told she didn't give me that name, I TOOK it, but hey whatever works, right?
Quirkyloon, the uniboober.
So I thought I would give you the Top Ten Reasons Why I Love Being a Uniboober.
- I get to relive my youth by stuffing toilet paper or paper towels (although they are much "crunchier") when stuffing my bra cup.
- I don't feel guilty going bra-less because there is only one "hanger" hanging around.
- I get to play catch with my prosthesis with the boys (and yes we really did do this once... aye 'twas such a bonding moment!).
- I get to sing on a regular basis in my best rock opera voice: "One of these things is not like the other."
- When I run (HA!) only one sister flaps and slaps. *ouch*
- No. More. Cleavage!
- Just like any man, I feel like I can adjust myself in public and not feel any shame.
- When I lay down flat on my back, only one boob slides towards my underarm.
- I only have to worry about one headlight showing as opposed to two.
- It's an easy five pound loss. Take it off and wah-lah!
So there you have tit, erm, I mean it.
Or not!
B.S. No boobs or uniboobers were harmed during the production of this post. Woops, I just banged my one good boob against the computer table! Again. Dang, she always gets in the way!
22 comments:
you are such a good sport...I laughed my belly out :)
Did u really play catch......? it must have been one hell of a bonding ritual :P
You're one funny lady Quirks. Able to make fun of life's setbacks. We're lucky to have you in the blogosphere. Keep it up. (ha, ha that was like a double entendre, get it?)
So beautiful! The thought of you sharing the prosthesis in a game of catch with your boys just warms my heart! (sniff sniff)
O-kay! Damn good thing you don't have a glass eye or wooden leg...lmao! Now that would be a sight(less?)But seriously, both my grandmothers & my mom-in-law each had one removed as well. I admire your courage in being the one & only Uniboober! The name just fits! (((HUGS)))
Playing catch with a prosthetic... better than rubber chickens!
Playing catch with the fake boob...hilarious!!
"One of these things is not like the other" .....I am cracking up!!
SO Funny! Thanks for sharing the list!
I'm reminded of the game "What's wrong with the picture" Or maybe a titure would be more appropriate?
;-)
I'm so glad you liked "uniboober".
Long Live Quirky, the Uniboober!
@Lazy Pineapple Yes we really have played catch with the boob. It's funny the things only a MOM is willing to do. hee hee
@Nomie I'm trying! I'm trying (to keep it up!). *grin*
@Collette Hey if it were a wooden leg? That would make a mighty fine bat! Don't you think? hee hee
@Catlady Yes, MUCH better. ha!
@Lee the Hot Flash Queen I'm sure we'll be paying for therapy down the road. HA!
@Denise@Sunflowers Aye, how I enjoy singing that ditty! And I sing it oft! hee hee
@AmyLK Hey when life gives you a chopped off boob, might as well laugh about it! At least I do! Hee hee
@Reffie Definitely a "titure." And you know the saying: A "titure" worth a thousand words! hahahahahaha And thanks for letting me steal uniboober. Me likey.
Heheheehee Quirks, you are such a loon.
This posts reminds me of my MIL who, over the course of 15 years, was assaulted by no less than 4 different types of cancer. Each time she went through the whole shebangs of treatment - and always with a smile. I doubt many could equal her strength - but you do Quirks.
Uniboober, indeed. Hahahahaeee
Uniboober....ROFLMBO!!!! You are so Cracie!!! So good to talk to you last night! Hugs
They sell fake boobs? I mean, not implants, but the real things?
The things I never knew. Thanks Uniboober!
Well, you certainly started my day with a roar. You are such a great sport with a beig heapin' help of PMA (positive mental attitude).
I love #4, by the way!
How can we bottle your frikken awesome positive attitude and sell it to the masses. We would be RICH!! Note the we - course you would need a manager and who best but your fifteenth favourite Canuck.
@Venom I pride myself on being a loon. *smile* FOUR cancers? I thought I was the only one who did Cancer PLUS with two. Eeeek! (I am so sorry to read this. :( Really I am!)
@HeidiM I told ya that there are special times to milk it (pun intended)! HA! *smooch*
@Chris@Knucklehead Hey my insurance paid for one boob (and it even has a shaped nipple on it)! Go figure! Technology! *grin*
@MeMe PMA? Well that's better than PMS right? hee hee
@Joanne Number fifteen? Do I know that many Canuckies? Nah! You're all NUMBER ONE in my book! *smile*
I always work my wife's boobies one at a time, so no biggie if she had just one. And besides, with all the advantages you've listed, the upside is paramount! (was that a Freudian pun?) I've seen 3-boobed women and I was like - Woa - what's a guy supposed to do with all that? LOL
I'm just thankful I've never had to have a "dicktectc."
The Old Silly
@One Handed Marv Well, be careful Marvin, you never know what NEW medical technology might bring. Ahem. HA!
Yeesh. Modern technology. Whad'll dey dink of next, hmm?
The Old Silly
My mother had a mastectomy and had surgery that took part of her muscles in her shoulder to build up the area so that she didn't have to play catch any more.
Love the list. Amazing how quickly one can lose weight just by removing one boob.
Thanks for sharing,
Had a teacher in HS who had a prosthetic leg courtesy of a tour in Vietnam. To get our attention, he'd sit along side his desk, put his prosthetic leg up on a chair, take out a pocket knife (before the days when that stuff was banned), and would fling it into his leg again and again until we'd all shut up and look at him. A lot of his left pant legs were holy.
It's so nice to see you hanging in there post CA, making light of a one-sided situation.
Ta Ta for now.
You just reminded me that I used to have a fake boob. I don't remember where I got it, but it was almost as good as the real thing. We used to play with it in our house all the time. (And I wonder why my kids have behavior problems?)
Your willingness to laugh at yourself is admirable, Quirky. I look in the mirror at my love handles and start to cry. I don't know what I'd do if they had to take one of my moobs off. Maybe I'd better find that fake boob I used to have.
@CaJoh Now how come my docs didn't offer that smashing deal? Go figure! *smile*
@Deb HA! That's hilarious! I would have been mortified back then. Now? Not so much. hee hee
@MikeWJ Hey even when I was two-boobed Mama I loved laughing at myself. It makes life so much more enjoyable. *smile*
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