Quirky Bowl

"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." Or in my case, "When life gives you chunks, make blog fodder."

Well, buckle on your seat belts because you are about to go on a ride. A ride on the Quirky Bowl! It will make your inner loonatic churn.

Yes, I thought I would share with you some of my thoughts as my commode and I reconnected on an up close and personal level.

"Second-hand tater tot casserole is incredibly nasty."

"I loved watching Resident Evil while resting my acidic tummy. Thank-you TNT. I was looking for a Law & Order episode, but this movie worked! I love zombie movies!"

"My husband is the bomb-diggity! He took care of the boys and everything while I wallowed in my own filth."

"I hate life. Especially mine."

"I can't believe the weird salad dreams I had last night."

"So I'm in my mid-forties, have terrible coordination, have always sucked at sports: so is it too late to become a professional ice-skater?"

"Misery, thy name is Quirkyloon."

"Sexting?"

"What was that weird green stuff?"

"I hate the name Sandra. So boring! Why couldn't I be named something cool like... Oh, I don't know. I can't think right now."

"That's it. I'm not blogging anymore. Why bother?"

"Rah-rah Ra Mah Ma-ah, Ga-ga Ooh la la!"

"Gouging my eyes out would be more pleasant than this."

"Syfy? Why?"

"Will somebody please give Glenn Beck a chill pill? He cries more than I do."

"You mock me. I will not be mocked."

"Anybody got a pick?"

"Will somebody SHUT that dog up? Oh, that's not the dog?"

"Boy, I really need to scrub this toilet."

"What's Stephenie Meyer got that I haven't got? Oh yeah, FIVE published books that have made millions, not to mention movies based on her books. And Twilight was based on a dream? Please, please let MEEEE dream!"

(In my best middle-eastern accent) "Death to America!"

"What's love got to do with it? Absolutely NOTHING."

"What would SpongeBob do?"

"S-s-s-s-o-o-o-oh     k-k-k-k-coooold."

"Crap!"

"A thousand points of light...."

"I miss my Diet Dr. Pepper."

*sob*

"I want my. I want my. I want my MTV."

"Why do English people add the "er" sound to a word ending in "a" For ensample: Bell-er is alive and well! When anyone with half-a-clue should know it's Bell-AH, not Beller. Gah!"

"Oh yeah. Carrot Top is most definitely hot."

"I gotta get started on that one blog post."

"Somebody seal slap me, now."

"Still no Law & Order? Come on TNT?! And USA? The Olympics? Come on!"

"Yes, can you turn on the fan? I'm so sweaty right now."

"Why on EARTH would you cook bacon? Oh no! Not again." (Quirky runs into the bathroom.)

"Who is that? Oh my gawsh. It's me! The years have not been good to me."

"The Kardashians? Really?"

"I'm afraid to go to sleep. I might choke on my chunks."

"Haters!"

Just be grateful, I'm not sharing the Big "D" thoughts with you.

And be grateful that I edited.

It was even uglier.

Hard to believe, I know.








B.S. One toilet was harmed during the production of this post.