Waste Not Golf Not

Quirky didn't watch the football games on Sunday because she was too busy searching for Law & Order shows on the telly. So this morning as she was driving, she turned on the radio and tuned into talk radio to find out who the big winners were.

New Orleans Saints vs. Indiana Colts.

Congrats and whoopee.

She got her information and then was ready to change the tuner to something more palatable to her ears when she heard this:

"Get your tickets now to the Waste Management Phoenix Open!"

What the waste?

Did I hear that correctly?

I did! I did! I did see a putty cat! Oops, wrong post.

I gave my head a hard shake hoping to jump-start the synapses. Then I heard the radio ad again. With shock and horror, I had to wrap my mind around the fact that indeed, I had heard it correctly. It is now The Waste Management Phoenix Open. And it has been since 2009. Yikes!

So Waste Management, Inc. was the highest bidder to what was formerly known as The Phoenix Open, then The FBR Phoenix Open?

Boy, times are tough.

What pride and joy the organizers of the event must feel with their new and "fresh" title.

(Quirky rolls her eyes.)

Somehow I'm not "feeling" the new title. It just makes me laugh in an incredulous way, not a "ha ha that's funny" way. It makes me want to sniff the air around me.

Waste Management. The company claims to promote "green." Yes, I'm feeling more than a little "green" around the gills.

Unfortunately, the moniker brings so many unclean and undesirable images to the mind. Mainly sewer plants and water treatment plants.

I think of sludge and slime. I think of the "things" that have morphed into unidentifiable organisms. Remember that scene from the movie Shawshank Redemption when Tim Robbins, during his escape, has to crawl through the dung and goop of the sewer system from the prison?

That's what I'm talking about.

Pretty gross stuff.

Yet, on a more pleasant note, I think of zombies as well. Zombies are great recyclers, specializing in human flesh.

Well, the name is an attention getter. Who needs the boring monikers of The FBR Phoenix Open or just plain ole' The Phoenix Open.

*yawn*

But Waste Management? That just rolls around in your head, does a tumble or two or three, and sticks its landing with both feet stuck in the gunky muck. No?

Let's hope that the golf event is a success and becomes the money raking event that the City of Scottsdale hopes it will be.

And if you're thinking of attending?

Don't forget to buy a t-shirt or sun visor or something.

I wonder what they will do with all the leftover crap that doesn't sell.

Give it to Goodwill? Perhaps they will and it will sit forever at the Goodwill Stores until even they have to dispose of it. Because we all know everybody will be dying to buy something with the words "Waste Management" on it. (Hey! Could this be the inspiration for a Quirky Blog Giveaway? Don't get too excited now.) More than likely, it will end up in a landfill somewhere near here.

And that my friends, will be such a waste.

What. A. Waste!




B.S. No golfers or waste were harmed during the production of this post. Oh wait! I just heard the garbage truck pick up our waste. So I guess some waste was harmed. Whaddaya going to do? Waste me? Ha!