Walleyes

*sung to the tune of the Hokey Pokey*

You move your left eye in.
You move your left eye out.
You move left eye in,
Then I don't know where to look!

You do the looky pokey.
And you turn your eyes around.
That's what that eye's about!

You move your right eye in.
You move your right eye out.
You move your right eye in,
Then I don't know where to look!

You do the looky pokey,
And you move it all around,
That's what that eye's about!

Now this post is not meant as disrespectful to those persons afflicted with the walleye condition.

But I confess, it's rather confusing for me.

Which eye should I look at.

It causes me stress.

Sometimes I'll decide to only look at the right eye no matter what. But then it's obvious that the right is no longer looking at me and the left eye is. So I find myself looking at the left eye only to find that it has already moved on to the right eye. Again.

I can't keep up!

And does it bother you? That I'm looking at the "wrong" eye?

Yeesh.

Please stop eye-waltzing with me.

Make up your mind.

I don't want to make you feel badly, but I feel like I'm doing an eye-tango with you.

Give me a break.

My eyes are tired. And I've got four of 'em. So my eyes aren't perfect either. But can we try not to make eye contact any harder than it has to be?

And now?

Let's do the cotton-eyed-joe!

Kick up your Tony Lama's and let's move!

And I won't care which way your eye is looking! Can you say Marty Feldman?

Yee haw!














B.S. No eyes were harmed during the production of this post. But Quirky did pull a leg muscle while attempting the cotton-eye-joe. Oh and she accidentally shot her eye out. Patches are "in" aren't they?