Yes, I'm so angry at Michael Jackson.
And yes, I know he's dead.
But he's still corrupting little children, even from beyond the grave.
And now?
He got to mine!
But I am a mother lion and I will not tolerate this!
I will fight for my young.
*roar*
Oh, and Phineas and Ferb? You're not off the hook either!
Quirky Son #2, the six year old, has been showing his "ham-it-up" acting chops of late.
It's funny.
Most of the time.
One day QS#2 approached me and gave me a toothy smile, wagged his eyebrows, slanted his eyes and said in a sultry (can six-year-olds do sultry? *gasp* mine did!) voice: This is for the ladies!"
Excuse me?
"Mom that's what Phineas said on Phineas and Ferb. I like that show Mom!"
He showed me again. Eyebrows wagging, eyes shut almost to a slit, and then: "This is for the ladies."
And then I did the unthinkable and inappropriate: I laughed.
It was funny.
But now? He's doing it all the time. You know how kids are.
And it really wouldn't be so bad, if he hadn't taken it a step further.
You know it's kind of hard to separate the entertainment influences between my twelve-year-old and six-year-old. In other words, the younger son sometimes sees and hears things that normally he would not see or hear.
Michael Jackson videos is one of those "things." Yes, he's been looking over the shoulder of his older brother watching Michael Jackson videos on the iPOD Nano.
I thought, "Oh, how sweet! Look at the Quirky brothers...they're bonding!"
But something much worse was happening.
My six-year-old was learning a certain "dance" move.
Ick.
Enters the six-year-old, "Mom, watch me!"
He grabs his CROTCH, starts humping his hips, slants his eyes, wags his eyebrows and says: "This is for the ladies!"
*thud*
After I picked myself up he and I had a little talk.
That won't be happening again.
At least not under my watch.
I need a drink.
Jesus juice anyone?
Erm, I mean Diet Dr. Pepper?
B.S. Roar!
56 minutes ago
16 comments:
OH my! I had to pick my chin off the floor reading this! But FUNNY! And OH MY!
Did he scream in a high-pitched voice when he grabbed himself? No? No damage done. HEEE!
Ah, the joys of little ones in the modern age.
By the way, your prayers have been answered. I've given you an award. Stop by and pick it up sometime.
@Marvin Chill pill? Me? Groovy baby! Do they taste good? Don't forget to send them via UPS! I'll be waiting! hee hee
@AmyLK I had to pick up much more than my chin that day. hee hee
@Nomie No damage done? He just clogged up another artery in my already faulty system! Ha! and a Hee Hee (in high operatic voice)
@Suldog The heavens have opened and upon me their lights shine! A Suldog Award! I can rest in peace in now! Ha!
A six year old boy playing with his toy - and leave it to Michael to give them another game - *sighs*
I really hate the crotch move when it's done by old men hanging out in the park. Six years old... yep that's where it starts.
On behalf of women everywhere, thanks for nipping that one in the bud.
You're geddy darn right your walls are taking a beating
@Joanne Yeah, he's still moonwalking in his grave!
@Jayne You're welcome!
@Anon Look! Is that a witch I see?
Oh, my, my. I think I would have "thudded" with you.
Do boys ever learn not to play with themselves? I'm sure you set him straight!
I loved Marvin's comment!
Beat it. Beat it. Beat IT!
Just lovely, huh? Even dead, Michael Jackson is creepy. His artifacts should be banished from the planet.
Eeek. Some of the things kids do and say.
@Reffie I did set him straight. But I can't be with him 100% of the time. Who knows what kind of animalistic behavior goes on behind my back. And yes I'm suspicious that way! hee hee
@Knucklehead Amen! Let's just hope my boy doesn't start asking for a nose job!
@idifficult Double eek! Ha!
ACK! Little Michael is grabbing at your children from beyond the grave! Unhand that child's crotch, you evil creature!
(I think you're going to need an entire six-pack of DDP to calm down from this one!)
Jesus juice, anyone?
That's the best Quirky ending to a post ever! Brilliant! LMAO!
P.S. -- Good luck with the perv. He'll be married by 14 if you can't set him straight.
Oh my! I can't help you with boys, but you could always use the old standby. "If you play with yourself, you will go blind."
Just make sure he doesn't start watching "Scarface". (((HUGS)))
@Catlady Actually it took TWO sixpacks and I'm still shaken up! hee hee
@MikeWJ You liked that, eh? Why? You had some before? hee hee
@Collette Scarface! Ack! I need to teach him about zombies before he watches that movie. That way he can distinguish between real life and fake life. Because we all know, zombies are real! hee hee
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