So while I was cleaning yesterday, I was listening and catching glimpses of House Hunters on the t.v. (And now you all know why I'm so behind in my cleaning duties. Ahem.)
And this is what was going down.
Realtor: So guys this next place I'm going to show you is a little bit larger than the last place. It's 547 square feet. I think you're going to like it.
Clueless Husband: Sounds great, let's take a look.
Clueless Wife: Sure.
They walk into a narrow hallway, take one large step and walah they are in the kitchen.
Clueless Wife: Wow. This kitchen is much larger than the last one.
Quirky's jaw hits the floor.
Clueless Wife: Oh look, Honey. There's a breakfast bar, we could set some stools up. That would be great for entertaining.
Quirky thinks: Entertaining? Are you serious? You would actually consider having more than four people in that...spacious 547 square feet? Yeesh.
Clueless Husband: And look it's got a great flow. Kitchen, dining, then living room.
Quirky: Uh-huh. One step: kitchen. Two steps: dining room. Three steps: living room. Four steps: patio. Five steps: you screaming, "Oh noooooo!" followed by sudden death.
Realtor: And look at the bedroom. Isn't the view great?
Clueless Wife: Oh yeah, so much light from those floor to ceiling windows.
Quirky: That means extra cold in the winter, extra hot in the summer. Ahem.
Realtor: I'm saving the best for last. Look inside this door.
They look inside to see a stackable washer/dryer with barely enough room to stand in there and open the dryer door.
Clueless Wife: Now that would be nice having our own washer/dryer combination.
Clueless Husband: Yeah, no more lugging around the loads.
Quirky: Uh-huh. You can say that again. There ain't no room in that place to be lugging loads of anything in that 547 square feet of space.
They show the clueless couple silently talking to each other for about 15 seconds. (I'm a great
Realtor: So what do you all think about this place?
Clueless Husband: I like it. This place would be great for entertaining. That patio!
Clueless Wife: And the views! You couldn't ask for better views.
Quirky: Trust me Clueless Couple the last things on your list of priorities when you move into this single wide trailer disguised as a condo is NOT going to be entertaining and the views.
It's gonna be...
"This STINKS!"
Can you say: bad breath, stinky arm pits, post bowel movement stench, farts, stinky, gassy burps, cooking fish, boiled eggs, forgotten items of organic and non-organic matter rotting in the refrigerator, mold, mildew, dirty laundry, and various other life odors all trapped in 547 teensy weensy square feet of space?
And you actually think you'll be able to add more people and their lovely funk to the mix for the sake of entertaining?
Oh, and the views. Can't forget the lovely views. But back to the important matter: 547 square feet of fetor.
That, my dear Clueless Couple?
STINKS!
Real bad.
B.S. No condos or trailers were harmed during the production of this post. And I could care less if any sardines were harmed. I say, "KILL 'EM ALL OFF THE PLANET!" May all the sardines die slow and painful deaths. Oh wait. That would cause a terrible stench, wouldn't it? Oh wait again. Who said anything about sardines?
17 comments:
this is hilarious....547 sq feet huh?? were they really serious?
Where do they get these people from?
The clueless walk amoungst us. Or in the UK we elect them to rule over us.
They do sound clueless, lol
Please tell me that was in Manhattan or LA?
Paris?
Well, at least they can open the patio door to air it out. And if someone happens to fall, all the better.
I've seen that show. The couples really do look like idiots.
My first apartment was just barely larger than that. It was ok for one person who didn't cook fish!
Wow - is that small and stinky to you? I thought it was a spacious, loverly abode. But then I'm clueless when it comes to such matters, living in a remote cave as I do.
The Old Silly
But there is SO much less to clean! I have about 800 sq ft and it doesn't take any time at all to clean. Of course, you don't have ANYTHING to clean. lol
@LazyPineapple They were serious, my dear! I hope they don't invite ME to one of their gatherings. *grin*
@idifficult Ha! We have many elected clueless ones too.
@Denise Don't they? Gads. *grin*
@Em Nope wasn't Manhattan or LA or Paris. (Think north. I'm trying to be respectful of my homie named Nomie from the great white north!) Ha!
@Reffie Yes, it is okay for one or two people, but for entertaining? Like I said, don't want to be at that partay. *grin*
@Clueless Marv Figures you live in a man-cave. I knew it. Ha!
@AmyLK Good for you! Less to clean. I'm all about that. Again, it's not about living in a small space cuz I can dig that. It's the entertaining that scares me. *grin*
Dear God! If I had to be cooped up with my husband in that size space I would be walking straight off the patio.
I happen to watch every episode of House Hunters including House Hunters International. You have nailed it!!! This show is definitely scripted...what man knows about the flow of a house...c'mon.
LMAO!
@Tracie LMBO! Amen and Amen Sistah!
@MeMe I love HH International. I get all jealous. Who are these people who can afford a home on the beach in Belize? Yowza. I need to get a job. Ha!
That's a fun show to watch but things like square footage and price are all out of whack. I'll bet the price of the place you're talking about was sky-high. Bizarre!
And I'll promise you
I will treat you well
My sweet angel
So help me, Jesus
The only advantage of a place that small is that is won't cost much to heat in the winter. Otherwise... claustrophobia! (I'll bet it cost a fortune, too!)
My parents lived in a really nice 800-square-foot house for a long time, but I can't imagine it. I really can't imagine 550 square feet. Must be New Yorkers or something. In New York City, a closet rents for $1,200 a month.
@Nomie Oh yeah it was pricey and ahem, it was UP in YOUR neck of the woods. Ahem. *smile*
@Anon Do you wanna pie?
@Catlady Claustrophobic much? Yep, I Yam! *grin*
@MikeWJ Ha! Yeah, I've seen those eppies too, New York Real Estate is INSANE!
I LOVE that show and HOUSE VIRGINS too! MY house is so small that if I drop a kleenex, the house is cluttered, but those STACKABLE washers and dryers leave me gasping for air! Ain't gonna get ANYTHING clean OR dry!
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