Sing It Sista!

Sister,
you've been on my mind
Sister, we're two of a kind
So sister,
I'm keepin' my eyes on you
I betcha think
I don't know nothin'
But singin' the blues
Oh sister, have I got news for you
I'm somethin'
I hope you think
that you're somethin' too

("Miss Celie's Blues" The Color Purple)

 

I got me a sista award!  Susan over at Musings over coffee nominated me for the Sisterhood Award. I'm so peachy keen pleased at the prospect!

 

Here are the rules:
Put the logo on your blog or post.
Nominate at least 10 blogs with great attitude and/or gratitude.
Be sure to link to your nominees in your post.
Let your nominees know they have received the award by leaving them a comment on their blog.
Be sure to link this post to the person who nominated you for the award.

 

Now I have to nominate ten others who have great attitude or gratitude. Lemme think here.

 

Hmm.

 

Wait. 

 

I know it should not be difficult.

 

Just give me a second here.

 

I know, be patient!

 

All right already!

 

Okay, I think I'm ready now.

 

Should I mention...these  ladies?

 

Yes, I should because they are deserving of it and they are "somethin' too!"

 

Nikki Crumpet at Blah, Blah, Blah Blog because this hilarious lady has some killer dawgs.  I'm pretty sure she is grateful that they keep everyone in line around her.

 

Jen Jiggety at Jiggety Jigg  I think Jen is gettin' jiggy wid it every chance she gets, hence the good attitude. *wink wink*

 

Ettarose at Sanity on Edge I know Etta is grateful for her great sense of humor, it's the only thing keeping her sanity far away from the edge.

 

Hussy Housewife at MY Suburban Can Run Over Your Minivan  Hussy is always grateful to have a bottle and some pills in her possession. And on a good day, she shares.

 

Lisa Loo at Is That A Garage Door On My Ceiling? This sweet lady has the best attitude about having a garage door on her ceiling! Crazy! I'm not sure so many of us would be as grateful as she is.

 

Mary Moore at Holy Mackerel Mary took the loss of eight followers due to a recent blogger glitch in stride. She could have gotten mad, instead she was ever so grateful when she realized it wasn't her kleenex in the nostril picture that drove the masses away. Whew!

 

Kirsten at Soccer Mom Files This funny soccer mom cracks me up! But I happen to know without a doubt that she is extremely grateful for Bret Michaels and his reality tv show: Rock of Love Bus! Second to that she's extremely grateful for Debra's wedding. I can't even begin to do it justice, you'll have to go and check it out yourself.

 

Reffie at Confessions of a Reforming Geek  Gah, poor Reffie. I keep bombarding her with awards and recognitions! But really, she so deserves it. Funny lady with a great attitude and I know she is very grateful for the axe that she will someday receive. *smile*

 

Julia at Homemade Hilarity Julia is a hoot. She has a great attitude about crapfts.  What is a crapft? It's a homemade craft gone wrong...very wrong. Talk about making lemonade out of lemons! This lady has got it down to a tee.

 

Kathy at The Junk Drawer|Humor for the Masses I'm not even sure she will accept this award, but I've never met a person so grateful for the Ped Egg. She threatens to torture her husband with her use of it.

 

Thanks again to Susan for "thinkin'" that I was "somethin'" special enough to deserve this sisterhood award. It is with pleasure that I pass it along to some grateful sister bloggers with the best 'tudes in the blogosphere!

 

Oh sister [bloggers],

have I got news for you
I'm somethin' 
I hope you think
that you're somethin' too

("Miss Celie's Blues" The Color Purple)

 

Because you are! You really really are!

They Were Robbed!

 

Attention Bloggers! 

 

This is such a sad story*. A family was robbed of all their valuables.  What a violation. What a horror.  If you would take a moment to ponder how horrific it would be to imagine a stranger rifling through your personal possessions! It rates high on the heebiejeebie factor for me. Let's hope none of us ever has to go through such an ordeal.

 

Luckily, there was a witness.  A brave person who stepped forward and put the welfare of the robbed family above his own.  He broke away from his own busy day and sat in a hot and stuffy police station.  He had to endure coffee that looked and tasted like tar. Chaos enveloped him. He sat with his eyes closed, intent on maintaining the sad and awful memory. At last, the police artist came forward with pencil and pad.  He sat down and together they laboriously worked together and came up with a complete and detailed composite sketch.

 

Here it is.  Please, look closely.  Your help could aid in bringing justice to a poor family in need. Burn this image in your memory bank.  If any of you have seen this person, please, please call the police.

 

Do any of you recognize this person?

 

Thank goodness for talented artists!

 

The world is a better place because of the talent they share. 

 

Such magnificence, such greatness, such genius!

 

This sketch will lead to justice! Thanks to this composite sketch, hope is still alive for the family who has been robbed of so much.

 

And thank the goodness of one lonely neighbor who was astute enough and willing to describe his observations of the intruder. The police artist captured it perfectly!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Now, onto happier news. Some of you might remember this outgoing gentleman who graced my blog a few weeks ago.

 

He's back! And he is ecstatic.

 

Why?

 

He found out he has a sister! His mother gave her up for adoption at birth and she grew up in a city just a few miles from where he grew up. At first he felt robbed of the life experience of growing up with an older sister! He was so sad at the thought of it. So imagine his delight when she showed up on his doorstep and they were able to spend some quality time together. They never realized they had so much in common.

 

He contacted me to share this lovely picture of, Rearburta. (It's the Swedish form of the more recognizable English name, Roberta.)

 

This sad story gratefully, has a wondrous and happy ending.

 

So take a moment to reflect and be grateful for your own family.  Take another moment to be grateful for another day that passes without danger and dangerous sights being imposed upon you and your loved ones.

 

Families, the glue of society.

 

Give a family member a hug today.

 

{hug}

 

And if that doesn't work, go hug a blog!

 

 

*story is COMPLETELY fictional, k?

 

 

Bob Prefers Blondes

Bob* and I were a hot item.

 

I really liked him...a lot.

 

It was 1981.  I had just turned 18 years old.  He was an "older" man. He was 21 years old. Oooh la la!

 

Yow-za.

 

He was just so cool.  He oozed of coolness. He was into Saturday Night Live, so was I.  He was into rock and roll, so was I.  It didn't hurt that he was very easy on my eyes.  We hung out and dated for about two months up until the night he became engaged to another girl.

 

I had no clue.

 

What is more bizarre is that he got engaged to her after two dates.

 

I guess I wasn't potential marriage material to him. She accepted his proposal. She is a blonde, I'm a brunette. Dang that Wench and her blonde hair. I just know that is what tipped his love bucket towards her.  Another blonde gets the guy while the brunette bites the dust. Really, it bit royally!

 

They got married a month later. I was still in shock when I heard they had left for their honeymoon.

 

Honeymoon?

 

Ouch.

 

I guess somewhere down deep I wanted to be marriage material for this guy. I got over it.  I mean really what other choice do you have than to get over it?  I saw them a couple of times holding hands during church. Blech.

 

I wonder if she ever felt the eye daggers I was sending her way.

 

So I heard a song that reminded me of him the other day, "Brass in Pocket" by the Pretenders. We would dance and sing it to each other making goo goo eyes at each other. Ah, those happy shiny memories! (Now it's nothing, but a cringeworthy moment.) 

 

Getting dumped, having to watch him and Wench bask in utter happiness and delight through their very short engagement was hard, but I dealt with it. Then I heard where they went for their honeymoon.

 

Disneyland.

 

What?  I had told him during our relationship just how badly I was dying to go there. Hint, hint.  Separate rooms, of course.  I was a good Quirky girl. *grin*  So they were going off for a fun-filled week at Disneyland...the happiest place on earth.

 

Now that hurt. 

 

Badly.   

 

But then recently, I saw of picture of them on Facebook. 

 

They are still together after all these years!

 

Well just look at them! They look so...happy! All I can say is...um...um...why bless their hearts! 

 

I see she's still a L'Oreal Preference Golden Reddish Blonde 9GR.

 

'Cause I gonna make you see
there's nobody else here, no one like me,
I'm special, so special.
I got to have some of your attention, give it to me.

(Brass in Pocket by Pretenders)

 

Well, I wasn't special enough for Bob. But you know what? That's okay.

 

More than okay.

 

 

*Name has been changed to protect the clueless. She still goes by Wench last time I heard.

War of the Words

Yes, it's a Quirky War on Words!

 

Bring. It. On.

 

You say Shallow. I say Profound.

Perhaps it is shallow of me that I wish I could look like Penelope Cruz. She is a beauty.  Her chocolate eyes, smooth and creamy complexion, not to mention a smokin' hot body.  I'd wear leather, if I had that body. (Hey, I didn't say I was sexually attracted to her, just that I can see with my eyes that she's gorgeous.) Or perhaps it is profound that that I am very accepting of others regardless of how they dress and look, even girls that look and dress like Penelope Cruz.

 

You say Coarse. I say Refined.

So I snorted out loud during a public prayer once. I know, I know, it was not very reverent or respectful and I'm sure many people were shocked at my coarse behavior, because that one snort led to a very long and very loud laughing fit. I say the refined women of the world who are incapable of an accidental giggle fit or snort during prayer are missing out on some much needed laughter and really need to get the self-righteous, hoity-toity bug out of their craw. 

 

You say Dull. I say Lively.

How could anyone claim my opera singing style as dull.  Once while shopping, I  got the attention of a Security Guard who followed me from a distance during that entire shopping spree. He can thank me for making his work day much more interesting thanks to my lively singing.  He was quite intrigued with me, he stuck to me like glue.  

 

You say Obtuse. I say Smart.

So I might have appeared to be obtuse the other day when I pulled out my cell-phone to call my husband who drove by me in his truck. So I forgot the teensy weensy fact that he does not have a cell phone, hence how did I think a phone connection could be made? Yet, I think it was rather smart of me that I stopped myself just in a nick of time. I did not waste precious cell-phone minutes. A minute saved is a minute rolled-over!

 

I challenge all insulting words, bring it.  I will smack it right back and upside your verbal head.

 

I'll do it.

 

You can take my word on it!

He's Lovin' It!

 

 

Like Quirky...

 

           Like son!

 

Well, well, well. Who says miracles don't happen.

 

Recently, there was an event in the Quirky household. It has now been documented that an eleven-year-old boy residing in the residence took the initiative this last Sunday and did all the cooking for his family for the entire day.

 

Unbelievable, but true.

 

Breakfast? He whipped up some pancakes.  Yes, he carefully poured the water into the awaiting dry pancake mix.  He heated up the pan and continued to flip some pancakes for his starving family.  They were mighty tasty once you got past the black and burned spots.  Nothing an extra dose of syrup couldn't fix.

 

Lunch? This young man, Son of Quirky, has the potential to become a great hamburger flipper at any fast food joint. Yes, he grilled the cheeseburgers to perfection.  He even toasted the buns.  The secret according to the budding chef?

 

"Mom, I put salt and pepper on top of the cheese when I make my burgers."

 

Point taken and stocked away for future reference. So that's why Quirky burgers are not as tasty. Perhaps Son of Quirky should fix all future burger meals.

 

Dessert? (Hey, it was a Sunday.) Son of Quirky made homemade milk-shakes.  He took the orders and proceeded with caution to the blender with some vanilla ice-cream, milk, chocolate syrup, and orange juice?

 

"Um, no. No orange juice in mine thank-you very much." And the result was fantastic! It was tasty with just the right amount of chocolate, not too much, not too little.

 

Yes, Quirky need not worry about her son's future.  If the rock-n-roll guitarist gig doesn't pan out? Son of Quirky definitely has a back-up plan that shines brightly before him.

  

Just look at how those Golden Arches shine!

 

He'll definitely be "lovin' it!"

 

Don't Hate Me Because I'm Beautiful!

   

 

A wacky and beautiful soccer Mom by the name of Kirsten has the ability to look beyond the superficial and has dubbed Quirky moi as bee-you-tee-ful!

 

Isn't that special?

 

Okay, okay, truth be told it is not an award to acknowledge a beauty blogger, so my attempt at pouty beautiful poses was not necessary. Ack. 

 

But it was kind of fun trying. 

 

So what is beautiful? The graphic itself!  Looky, looky!

 

The "rules" for this award are quite painless. 

 

Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers! Deliver this award to eight bloggers who can choose eight more and include this text into the body of their award.

 

I am only too happy to forward this beautiful award to eight of my funny, interesting, and sweet blogger buddies. These are some beautiful bloggers who I feel are worthy of this friendship award.

 

Reffie at Confessions of a Reforming Geek.  This is the nicest lady and she is funny too.  I lurve her and her blog.

 

Sheri at The Dominee Huisvrouw - This gal from Canada, is such a cutie pie with the cutest cutie pie family too.

 

Marvin at Free Spirit at Free Spirit  - Marvin is a spiritualist who reminds me that life is beautiful every time I read his blog.

 

Lee at moms without blogs  - I think I want to be Lee when I grow up. (And I'm older than her!) She is so wise and beautiful. 

 

Julia at Sometimes Lucid  - Here is another sweet and funny lady, it is heartwarming to  read her blog. And if you have seen her picture...guess what? She is a beauty!

 

Jenni  at Jiggety Jigg - She is so fun, sassy and beautiful too. She cracks me up! 

 

Pyzhan  at Prattle... from the flatlands  - Another sweet lady whose down to earth beauty shines through in her blog posts. She always makes me smile. :)

 

Blue Violet  at A Nut in a Nutshell  - Another funny and sweet lady and go look at her beautiful blog design! It rocks!

 

You know that is where the real beauty lies. Making genuine connections with other people all over the world via the world wide web.  There is no way I could have ever met any of you and have had the privilege of "getting to know you" via your blogs.

 

Who would have ever imagined it? Not me!

 

But I am glad, oh yes, ever so glad.

 

Bloggers who need bloggers

Are the luckiest bloggers

In the [internet] world!

 

Yes, it is definitely a bee-you-tee-ful thang!

 

Just beautiful!

Quirky Blast from ER Past*

(beep........beep.........beep)

"Push that button."

"No, the one on the left!"

"It's the one on. the. left. .....Honey."

"You're other left!"

"Why don't you push the button?"

(beep....beep....beep....beep)

A puzzled husband keeps staring at the device he is holding in his hand.

"That's what you need to do...just push the button already!"

(beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep)

The technologically challenged husband and his "You're really starting to push my buttons" wife look up at the heart rate and vital signs monitor at the same time.

Their eyes meet. Sheepishly, they smile and start laughing.

(beep.....beep.....beep......beep)

A marital moment of frustration has been deflated by a dose of pulse monitoring reality.

No need to sweat the small stuff.

Just push the button and everything will be okay.

*Based on a true experience in an emergency room in August 2007, the patient survived and now lives a somewhat quirky existence. Unfortunately, the husband remains at large technologically challenged.

Fear Factors

So according to this article, science may have found the answer to curing deep-seated fear(s) in humans.

 

I'm so glad.

 

A lot of fear and guilt racks my brain. I am in serious need of a fear and guilt exorcism. I want to be a cleaner, more honest, and braver Quirky.

 

One overwhelming fear that continues to haunt me is when I accidentally wiped ketchup finger in a library book on July 16, 1998. The stain can be found on page 125 of Dean Koontz's Mr. Murder book.  I had been munching on McDonald's french-fries with ketchup.  I reached to turn the page and unbeknownst to me, there was ketchup on my fingertip. I wonder if that stain ever faded away. In the meantime, I have suffered tremendous guilt and have never returned to that particular McDonald's to this day. Whenever I drive by it, my stomach clenches and the fear paralyzes my mind!

 

Another guilt that plagues me is a fourteen-year-old lie that I continue to maintain.

 

Roughly fourteen years ago Christmas time, my friend Rhonda (name has been changed to protect the clueless), baked some of those peanut butter cookies with a Hershey's kiss in the middle for my family. None of us care for these kind of cookies. But of course, I lied when Rhonda asked if we liked these kind of cookies, because she had a whole plateful of them to give to us.  We threw them out! Gah. And now every Christmas she brings us another plate because she "knows" how much we like them. It's turned into a friendship holiday tradition now. Ugh. I constantly fear that she will find out the truth. I have found a better use for them and have stopped throwing them out. Now I give them away as part of my Christmas goody plates.  Yes, I re-gift Christmas cookies. I'm a bad, bad person.

 

Finally, the most heinous guilt trip and tremendous fear of all: I fear the future of toilet paper. Over the years, I haven't been very kind or considerate of toilet paper. I'm guilty of shamefully using toilet paper and taking advantage of it every chance I get. I am a toilet paper opportunist! Why don't you just call me trailer trash?  This is so inconsiderate of me! Another tree died.... for me. Oh, the guilt and the anguish! Because of me another tree had to die a horrible and cruel death! I know that those sacrificial trees that end up benefiting my butt me must be growing in resentment. What if the trees attack?  I fear this most of all.

 

As you can see I have some serious fears that need to be dealt with.  I cannot tell you how many sleepless nights have passed by with these and other thoughts and memories that keep me awake wracked with fear and trembling. I need help.  Thank-you science community for coming to my emotional rescue. I heart you.

 

I just hope this new scientific cure will not require that I drink a rat milk-shake as part of my guilt and fear therapy and treatment.

 

Because apparently, fear IS still a factor for me!

 

Martian Infomercials

 (extremely loud and annoying voice)

 

"Hi I'm Billy Mays! I want to tell you about a terrific new product! It's called the Illidium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulater! It blows things up! You bring it, it will decimate it! You'll love the power of being able to destroy anything and everything around you!" 

 

Marvin the Martian, "Oh goodie!  A new improved explosive Space Modulater. My old one, the Illidium PU-36, never quite got the job done. It was supposed to blow up the planet earth. I  remember that day as if it were yesterday. I aimed, I fired, and there was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom, but alas, there was no kaboom."

 

(Billy Mays continues...)

"We have had our top scientists test this new and improved Modulater.   It will blow your mind and anything else you would like blown up!"

 

Marvin the Martian, "Hmm, I wonder if it will finally be capable of destroying planets? That nasty Earth still my blocks my view of Venus. Gee wiz that silly place irritates me so. This new Modulater just may be my dream come true." 

 

*click*

 

"Vince here with the ShamWow. Stop wasting your money buying paper towels! ShamWow will do the work of one million rolls of papers towels! It doesn't drip or make a mess.  And it is machine washable and bleachable! Plus, one ShamWow will last for ten years! It will not scratch any surface!"

 

Marvin the Martian, "The Martian Maggot could use a cleaning. Oh dear, how wonderful it could be: I wouldn't have to create more Martians to do the job. One ShamWow could do the work of an entire army of Martians. That would be most delightful. And only $19.95 earthling dollars plus shipping and handling. What is the price of an intra-galactic stamp these days?"

 

*click*

 

TV Guide Channel presents PediPaws™ the revolutionary new nail trimmer for your dog or cat. It’s the newest and fastest way to keep your pet’s nails trim rounded and smooth with no pain or mess!  Start treating your pet like one of the family. You and your pet will love PediPaws™!

Marvin the Martian, "Commander K-9, my space dog, has had the most terrible time with his paw nails.  I was dressing him one morning and when I tried to put on his space shoes, he snarled at me.  That wasn't a bit nice. Perhaps this canine device would be worth looking into for K-9's sake."

 

 

*click*

 

Marvin the Martian, "Oh, all of this earthling terrestrial television has given me quite the headache! Especially these infomercials with these annoying earthling specimens with extremely loud voices. K-9, do you suppose all earth creatures behave like thataway? Oh look here is another infomercial. Wait, I'm all agog! This claims that it can cure me of my terrible headache? What do I do with it? "

 

Head On. Apply directly to the forehead.

Head On. Apply directly to the forehead.

Head On. Apply directly to the forehead.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Marvin the Martin: "Oh peachy! The terrestrial remedy did indeed work!

 

"Mmm, yes, very curious, very interesting. There has been a growing tendency to think of man as a rational thinking being which is absurd, there is simply no evidence of any intelligence on the earth. Until now.

 

"My headache is completely gone by terrestrial infomercial means. I'm still shocked and agogged! I need to keep that handy Head On stick close by and at all times.

 

"Now excuse me as I have important work to contemplate.

 

"It's back to the old drawing board!"

Quirky Meme

I memed myself. I've been feeling quite left out of the meme world.  I see others getting memed all the time.  Somehow I have been black-listed from the meme list.  Everyone else moans and groans at memes. Not meme, I mean me. Tis true I rarely forward memes because there are some serious meme haters out there. You, and you, and you, and YOU!

 

Back to the real issue here: No memes for me.

 

Until now.

 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Interview with a Quirky

written by Mimi Meme

 

If your house was on fire and you could grab only 3 things before leaving, what would they be?

My Happy Bunny Calendar  (Snarky humor can get you through almost anything.)

My favorite pen  (I must be able to sign the insurance papers to get my big fat "house replacement" check.)

A two-liter bottle of Diet Dr. Pepper. (I figure I am going to need it...badly.)

Do you believe in extraterrestrials or life on other planets?

Why, of course.  I've seen ET and Star Trek, Star Trek the Next Generation.   That is proof positive, isn't it?

Do you believe in ghosts?

Uh, yeah. I've seen the movie Ghost many times.  I am constantly looking for pennies moving around on their own.  I hope some ghost, any ghost will make contact with me and soon!

What do you value most in life?

Clean nostrils.  There is nothing more upsetting to me than to look in the mirror and see a booger dangling out.  

What do you think the greatest invention is in your lifetime and why?

Remote controls. It is too hard of a chore to have to get up again and again to go change a channel or adjust the sound.  It's beyond cruel. Thank goodness for the clicker.  All of our lives have been vastly improved by the clicker.

What do you think the secret to a good life is?

Watching any and all seasons of Survivor at home, in my comfy clothes, with a Diet Dr. Pepper and crackers and cheese. I always feel uplifted when I can rejoice in other people's suffering.  

What would be your dream job?

To be Kathy Griffin's assistant. (All kidding aside, I mean really how cool would that be?)

If you could have three wishes granted, what would they be?

1.To be a cat (They're cold and aloof and yet many people love them.)

2. Never to have a hang nail again. (They can be so painful.)

3.To pet an ostrich. (They look vicious.)

If you HAD to change your name, what would you change it to?

Oh this is easy. I love the name Bertha, you just don't see that name much anymore. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Sometimes you've got to take the bull by horns and just do it. I memed me.

 

So there.

 

I've done it.

 

I feel okay.

 

In fact, I feel great!

 

You gotta love meme!

*UPDATED*

We meme-less bloggers must stick together! Hopefully, these bloggers will not kick my meme to the curb, but I am going to forward this meme: A Quirky Meme to the following sweet and fun ladies:

Pyzahn at Prattle from the Flatlands. She is so sweet! I want to get know the quirky about her! She is going to find that it is very liberating to release the inner quirk. If not, maybe she'll share some good Italian eats with us! She's Italian and proud of it (as she should be)! *smile* Hmm. I wonder how homemade Italian pizza would hold up in the mail? Pyzahn, any tips? Please include AFTER you complete the Quirky Meme, okay?

Frippery at Fluff and Finery. She intimidates me, she is *whispers* an awesome art crafter! Oh my goodness you should "see" her creativity. I can't even think that kind of stuff up! Anyhoo, I bet she's gonna utilize that creativity into some quirky momentum and give it to us good! Can't wait!

EudeaMamia at Life, Liberty and the Pursuit... How can I not love a blogger who has an ellipsis in her blog title! I kind of go a little ellipsis crazy. It's so easy... to do.... and overdo. I know... I know I'm working on it! She's not quite as snarky as me, but the question now is... is she as quirky? I challenge her!

Go to it my fellow bloggers and find the inner quirk in ye and then expose it unto us! Please...pretty please? *smile*

The Dark Veggie Tale

Eating healthy has always been looked upon as a good thing. I recently became aware of another facet to this premise.  There is dark side to veggies and fruits. Sounds strange I know, but it is out there, just not as clearly visible to the human eye. (Wait this sounds familiar...like the narrative to Tales of The Darkside. I loved that show!)

 

Read on, if you dare, to hear these horrific tales of veggie and fruity woe.

 

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away." 

 

Apples are highly regarded as a good and healthy fruit. Chock full of fiber, anti-oxidants, they can help reduce cholesterol by preventing reabsorption, blah, blah, blah.  Unfortunately, some apples can actually be bad for your health, even life-threatening. Allow me to introduce to a young woman who had a bitter encounter with an apple. Her name is Snow White and she feels that not only are apples a danger and menace to society, but they should be banned from here forthwith. 

 

This is her story.

 

"One day this old lady came up to me and offered me an apple. At first I declined, but she would not take no for an answer. It was so annoying. Finally, I gave in thinking this would get her off my back.  The next thing I know I'm in a glass coffin, with a Prince leaning over me, and my seven little friends had shovels in their hands looking shocked.  They were going to bury me alive! They claim I had been sleeping for a number of days and they thought I was dead, hence the coffin and shovels. Thank goodness that cute stud of Prince came along and woke me up. (Gee, I hope I didn't have morning breath!) That was one wicked apple! I still shudder to this day."

 

"Beans beans the magical fruit..."

 

Allegedly, beans are another good food that have been proven to be high in protein, beneficial to those with diabetes, and even helps lower cholesterol. What they fail to mention is how they can instill and encourage uncontrollable greed in young boys.  A tortured young soul by the name of Jack sought me out to tell me this woeful tale.

 

"My mom sent me to sell our cow at the market one day.  But the cow market had recently tanked. Nobody was interested in buying. I was desperate. I knew I had to come home with some food for our family. Times were tough. This guy came up to me and told me his name was Bernie M. He tricked me into trading our cow for some measly magical beans.  He claimed I would get rich if I grew the beans. I can't believe I fell for this Ponzi scheme! 

 

"Instead of getting rich, I ended up going to jail for stealing. All because I believed Bernie. I saw an opportunity to move up in life and I admit it: I took it with a vengeance. It was going to be so sweet, and such an easy pot of gold at my fingertips! What I failed to remember was this: what or who goes up, sometimes comes down.  Those darn beans cost me my integrity! The giant hand of justice hammered down on me and now I'm stuck here in Beantown Prison for stealing and animal cruelty. My relationship with that goose has been totally twisted and misunderstood. I hate those beans, I hate them! I wish I had never seen them or Bernie M!"

 

Eye-opening isn't? One last story that is the most shocking of them all.

 

"What kind of father would trade his baby for a bunch of radishes?"

 

Radishes offer a crunch and a zip of peppery zest to many dishes, especially salads.  Unfortunately, for one young, somewhat selfish and immature, pregnant woman, it would be the catalyst to losing her baby!  Like many pregnant women, this young mother was having some serious cravings. All she could do was think, dream, and breathe.... radishes. She was so desperate that she sent her husband out to steal some for her. She would pounce on the radishes as soon as her husband returned. She ate so many of them that he was not able to keep her cravings satisfied.  Her now ex-husband, tells us his side of the story.

 

"My then-wife was crazy for radishes.  She would moan and groan and whine. I couldn't take it anymore.  I went out back and stole some on a regular basis from the Enchantress' garden.  Unfortunately, the Enchantress busted me and was not too pleased at my thievery of her precious radishes.

 

"By the way, I recently joined Enchanted Beings dot com to search her out.  Now that I'm not married anymore, can I say she was haw-ought.  She knew how to fill out a gown, if you know what I mean.

 

"Sorry, back to my story.  The Enchantress was livid. I thought she was going to turn me into a toad or something. She ranted and raved and insisted that I promise her our baby girl when she was born.  I was so dumbfounded by her demand that I didn't realize that I was nodding my head in agreement. We had to give her our baby girl! The Enchantress took her and put her in a tower with no ladders or doors.  My poor baby girl  never knew her real mother or father. It makes me sick to this day.  The last I heard Rapunzel was living in a desert because the Enchantress busted her with a guy up in the tower. I have no idea how he got up there! No idea at all.  Now I'm old and alone and my regrets haunt me still. 

 

All of this for some raw fruits and vegetables? Nearly being buried alive, out of control greed, selling your child is worth a veggie or fruity treat? I don't think so. If I hadn't heard it first hand from these strange unhappy souls, I would never have believed it. But I do now. And I've made decision as well: forget the veggies and fruits. They can be bad for your health.

 

I'm sticking to cheesecake.

 

Much safer choice.

 

Much safer.

It Depends

After all my snarky regarding love songs, I had a pretty decent Valentine's day.

 

First of all, my eleven-year-old son treated my husband and I to our own personal rock concert.  He has been writing his own music and lyrics.  I know I may be biased, but... I. was. impressed.

 

He has written about seven or eight rock songs. His last song was what he described as, "my best song that was inspired by Mom."

 

Aww, how sweet huh?

 

Not really.

 

The title?

 

"Heartbroken." 

 

It was after a Mommy putting her foot down moment.  On one hand, I'm glad he is finding a creative outlet for his frustration. On the other hand, I'm quite sure I do not want to be known as the inspiration for sad or angry songs.

 

Doesn't exactly stroke the Mommy ego.

 

But I've got to hand it to him. He rocked! Oh yeah, baby, he did!

 

The second thing that made Valentine's Day good was we went out to eat dinner.  We went to this very UNfancy Mexican food place and it has the best. eats. ever.  In fact, the food was just a little too good. I ate like eating was going out of style. I ate. And then I ate some more. It was so delicioso!

 

Needless to say my husband had to roll me out of there and I was miserable. That is the thing about overeating, you feel like crap afterwards. We were driving home and I was telling my husband how gross I felt. He chuckled. I told him, "As soon as we get home, I'm laying down and doing nothing. I feel like I am going to explode! In fact Honey, could you run to the store for me please?"

 

"What do you need me to buy?"

 

"Honey, I think it's time we move our relationship up to the next level. I want you to get some Depends, some wipes, and well... I might be needing some help from you Honey.'

 

"Honey?"

 

"Hon?"

 

"Ho....?"

 

He had gone into shock.  He was not amused or pleased at the prospect of "assisting" me. What happened to "for better or worse?"  Yeesh. One unpleasant thing and it becomes an issue.

 

I guess the "helpmeet" concept is not always going to be a consistent factor in every marriage experience. Apparently, it boils down to one thing. 

 

It depends.

What The World Needs Now

Is NOT more dripping with cheese love songs.

 

Yeah, I know tis the season to spread the love. I'm so all over that (rolls eyes).

 

Of course, I thought it would be fun (and quirky) to step outside of the love shack and remind you of some songs that instill other emotions. I've categorized them for you, because I am thoughtful that way.

 

Definitely Annoying:

• I Just Called To Say I Love You by Stevie Wonder. Hey don't look at me that way.  Handicapped people want to be treated as equals. So that means I can hate a Stevie Wonder song and so can you. Liberating isn't it?
• Key Largo by Bertie Higgins.  The tune and lyrics to this song make me want to puke.  And he got paid for this song? That is just so wrong.
• Tonight I Celebrate My Love by Peabo Bryson and Roberta Flack. The saying that two heads are better than one? Not so in this case.  Let's celebrate that this song is rarely, if ever, heard.

Boring Beyond Belief and Unworthy of ANY Comments: 

• Joanna by Kool and the Gang. 
• Mandy by Barry Manilow
• Rosanna by Toto

Well these songs are worthy of one comment: Gaaaaah!

 

 Sucky Sex Love Songs:

• I'll Make Love To You by Boyz II Men.  If I want you to? I definitely don't want you to. Got it? Good.
• You're Havin' My Baby by Paul Anka. Okay, this is the possible result after hearing a sucky sex love song and then well "doing it." But Paul Anka? He's "doing it" wrong.  
• Afternoon Delight by Starland Vocal Band. Please get on the sky rocket in flight and never come back. Really.

Rodent (?) Love Songs:

• Ben by Michael Jackson. Ben you should not have broken up with Michael.  He took it bad, real bad. And he hasn't been the same ever since.
• Muskrat Love by The Captain and Tenille. Susie and Sam do the jitterbug? I'm pretty sure I don't want any love looking like "muskrat love." Plus, there is the whole hantavirus issue.
• Somewhere Out There-American Tail by Fievel (a mouse). I currently have a mouse ban on my house. No mice allowed. I can only hope Fievel and company will stay somewhere out there (and not in my house)....forever.

 All Air Supply Songs: 

• Even the Nights Are Better
• Here I Am The One That You Love
• All Out of Love
• Making Love Out of Nothing At All

Air Supply? You suck the very life out of music.  The mediocrity and the inane melodies give me hives.  I'm sending my ointment bill to you. That is the least you can do since I am All Out of Love for you. Here I am the one who hates cheesy love songs.

 

Here have some candy. Help yourself don't be shy.

 

(In case you can't read them: Ur Poor, Love Sucks, No SS For You, etc.)

 

 

Happy Freakin' Valentine's Day!

Hitchhiker Love Story

Hitchhiker, hitchhiker
Find me an axe,
Find me a ride,
Catch me a catch
Hitchhiker, hitchhiker
Look there she is,
She'll give you a perfect match axe.
He was a lost soul looking for true love. He couldn't figure out why women shied away from him. He was a nice fellow with a big heart. His restlessness took him on the road. With his handy axe in hand, he logged his away across the country. He was confused and ever so lonely. He spent much of his time reflecting on love and his desperate need to find it. In the romance department, he had suffered many near misses. Now, he was ready for a direct hit.

Little did he know that Mistress Fate was leading him right to his soul-mate, his destiny.

Ahead, a car stopped and he lightly jogged to the open window. He bent down to look in at the driver. Their eyes met. (the radio was playing Nazareth's "Love Hurts") Time stood still. The air crackled with electricity as they continued gazing into each other's eyes. It was like they had always known each other.

Shyly, "Well hello Ma'am, my name is Phil, but I go by the name of Hitch."

She smiled demurely, "Why hello Hitch. It is a pleasure to meet you. My name is Lizzie. Lizzie Borden."

At axe last! He could not believe his luck. He had found her! She had found him!

Their whirlwind romance quickly evolved into a formal courtship and then marriage. It was a blissful day for both of them. They were so happy and so in love!

Little did they know that Mistress Fate was not done with them yet.

They found a little yellow house, with a white picket fence, and began their life together as two soul-mates melded into one. They were one in their minds, hearts, and sometimes bodies (*snicker*). Yes, they were living the dream.

And they lived happily ever after for two whole days before they were viciously murdered!

Police officers found their bloody and mangled remains amidst a blood bath described as "the most vile and disgusting scene ever witnessed by human eyes." Apparently, an axe had been involved in the double murders.

The case remains unsolved to this day.

Three things to learn from this love story.

First, There is an axe a hat out there for every head. So do not despair if you are alone and lonely, your perfect match is out there somewhere.

Second, that which does not kill us usually makes us stronger, but sometimes it does kill us.

Third, in the words of St. Augustine, "Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all." Hitch and Lizzie knew this and embraced it until their bitter, sad, tragic and messy end.

We should all be so lucky to find our own Hitch or Lizzie. I'm sure wherever they are, their love still whacks waxes strong!


(Nazareth's song, Love Hurts starts playing)

Love hurts, love scars,
Love wounds, and marks,
Any heart, not tough,
Or strong, enough
To take a lot of pain,
Take a lot of pain
Love is like a axe
Whacking at each other's brains
Love hurts, ooh ooh love hurts

(edited by Quirkyloon)

Ode to Pain

Pain in mind
Pain in the body
A lady in pain
Doth sucketh greatly.

My pain, your pain,
Everybody's pain pain.
Still
It doth sucketh greatly.

For how to bear
Nobody knows
For the pain of one
Or many
Doth suck.

Pain pain go away
Do not return
Any other day
Oh, how the pain
So deeply seeded in me
Sucketh mightily supreme.

Pain thy strength
is great in word
and in deed.
But have no doubt
Ye still sucketh with me.

Pain I beg thee
Leave me this day
Pain thou art
A cruel mistress and
Still a stubborn suck.

Pain no more!
I shall overcome
I look above and below
In the cabinets to find
A pill, a pill!
Pain thou sucketh still.

I have reigned supreme!
Pain is no longer in me.
May the fair beast of pain
No longer sucketh in this refrain.


Written by Quirkyloon


---------------------------------------

This was inspired by one raging headache and two wonderful Tylenol pills and my ever faithful companion, Diet Dr. Pepper, which aided in the quick release of pain relief substance.

I would be remiss if I did not thank Tylenol.

I dedicate this poem to all those who are in pain.

Together we shall overcome the suck of pain.

For united we stand and without Tylenol?

We fall.

And that would sucketh greatly.

*snicker*

Psyche!

Cautious Realist

So I took a personality test at personaldna dot com and these are the results. If you feel like I don't share enough with you to know the "real" quirky me? Wonder no more. Here it is.

NUMBER ONE:

Quirky, overall, you are a Cautious Realist.

• Your attention to detail, appreciation of how things function, and awareness of the world around you make you a REALIST. Okay.
  
  
• Routines are reassuring to you—you feel safer and more at ease when sticking with familiar things. Definitely.
  
  
• You like to stay close with those around you, seeking comfort from familiar faces. Another okay and definitely.
  
  
• You are interested in processes—how things work, what they do, and why—not just how things look. Hmm, what does that little doohickey do?
  
  
• Sometimes you doubt that you can find solutions to problems, although you have a good sense of why things happen, and can use that knowledge to find the best way to do something. Absolutely no doubt about it.
  
  
• You are down to earth, concerned more with practical, detail-oriented things than with dreamy or ambiguous ideas. Well, is dreamy really all that it is cracked up to be? Just sayin'.
  
  
• You have a good sense of your abilities and weaknesses, and don't let your ego get in your way. Leg go my ego puh-leeeze!

NUMBER TWO:

Quirky, you are cautious when relating to others.

• Being independent, practical, and somewhat guarded with others makes you CAUTIOUS. This makes it sound like it is a bad thing.
  
  
• You tend to keep to yourself, wary of trusting others with personal information.Hiss, hiss, snarl, snarl, keep away you nosy snoops, my life is mine! All mine!
  
  
• The values that you hold are central to your identity—you are a very principled person. A principled Quirky I am.
  
  
• You have respect for the natural order of things, and a good sense of right and wrong. I make me feel like a natural and moral woman!
  
  
• Investigating the world through observation, as opposed to interaction, is preferable to you. I loooooove people watching.
  
  
• You have an appreciation for those who have attained a certain level of accomplishment, particularly the rare few who have succeeded honestly. Where have all the honest accomplishers gone? Long time passing....
  
  
• You are efficient—when you work with others, you get down to business, and fulfill your obligations. I'm gettin' jiggy busy withit.
  
  
• You sometimes wish that others would be more like you—less hindered by their emotions, more respectful, and more private. What? Nah, that would be boring, I love to watch and snoop in other people's lives.

NUMBER THREE:

Quirky's Personality Chart and Glossary of Traits

This shows thirteen personality traits and how you ranked with each one.

• 20% Confidence Ooops, anybody have a self-esteemer in the house?
  
• 6% Openness And please bring me an opener too.
  
• 24% Extroversion She is Quirky, hear her roar (or maybe not).
  
• 46% Empathy This number can't be right. I always feel for others, especially when the room is dark. I mean I don't want to step on them and hurt them.
  
• 32% Trust in others But I do trust you, dear sweet blogger, honest I do. *eyelashes batting*
  
• 28% Agency Let freedom ring!
  
• 40% Masculinity What? Okay, so a few chin whiskers have grown in, but I pluck them...right away! Gah!
  
• 28% Femininity I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in pan, cuz I'm a woman!
  
• 74% Spontaneity Let's go to Disneyland! Right now!
  
• 44% Attention to style Gonna use my style, gonna use my my my my imagination...cuz I'm gonna make you see.
  
• 76% Authoritarianism What? I would have been better off at a Catholic school so the Sisters could rasp my knuckles? But I'm not even Catholic!
  
• 68% Earthy/Imaginative I feel the earth move under my feet, the sky is falling, the sky is falling!
  
• 22% Functional/Aesthetic Beauty must serve a purpose. If it does not, then it frivols in fivolosity.

Well that was interesting. I hope I did not scare anybody off. Psyches can be so unique and dangerous. Let's give it up for psyche.

Psyche is good.
Psyche is our friend.
Psyche warns of danger and keeps us safe.
Are you scared yet? You should be. *smile*

Psyche!

Bursting Bubbles

Sometimes it’s better to give than to receive.

And then sometimes, it’s not.

Today while at church, a giggle fit came on. (No, not you Quirky…giggling at church? Last time I checked, hail and brimstone? Not so funny.)

Why the giggle fit? Well, please allow me to share my tale.

I was sitting with a bunch of kidlets. Yes, I know it is quite shocking they let me corrupt teach a little Sunday school class. So we suffered listened to a little girl give a talk that went on and on and on and on and on. (She should have a great career in public speaking some day. She’s only seven-years-old, but with a tough job market in store, it’s a good thing she’s starting to hone her craft early.)

She finally finished when one of “my” little boys exclaimed, “Man, that was long!”

And for some reason I could not control my response to that. Little bursts of giggle snorts were starting to erupt from me. I tried to disguise the snorts and giggles with coughs. I knew if the other kids knew that I was laughing, it would snowball and then in no time the whole room would be laughing. I did not want to hurt the cutie-pie's feelings.

Plus, for the most part laughter is not the goal of Sunday school. Humor in small and subtle doses is acceptable. But rip-roaring laughter is usually frowned upon. And ask my husband or friends, my giggles can quickly turn into rip-roaring laughter within a nanosecond.

I'm a loaded pistol waiting to fire.

Anyway, when I realized my giggles disguised as coughs were going to get worse before they would get better, I got up to excuse myself and while walking in the hallway, I heard a little puff noise from behind me. To my horror and embarrassment…a little quiet butt-bubble had escaped from my gluteus maximus!

My eyes widened in horror as I asked myself, "Did that just really happen?"

It did. It really did.

What is a butt-bubble, you ask? Aw come on, don’t make me spell it out for you. Can’t you figure it out?

(Quirky looks around anxiously, motions to you to bring your ear closer. She whispers softly, “A butt-bubble is a fart.”)

After the fugitive bubble escaped, I quickly looked around and thank goodness nobody was behind (pun intended) me. The hallway was pretty much empty. The heavens were looking down with favor upon the would be victims.

Ack!

My body had NOT warned me! It just happened.

I’m doomed.

This was far worse than the chemo, vomiting, nausea, pain, hemorrhaging, respiratory infections, uterine tract infections, passing out on the toilet, getting examined while sitting on a toilet, getting "cleaned up" by a hot male nurse while in the intensive care unit, all of which nicely sums up my big "C" experience.

Much worse, much much worse!

Sigh.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

In other Quirky news: I got Q&A!

I was spot-interviewed by one of the most respected and enjoyed humor bloggers: Crotchety Old Man Yells At Cars. Da Old Man or DOM as I like to call him is one of the funniest humor bloggers in the blogosphere today. His blog reflects his crotchety wisdom and humor. With one meager exception: I think my Soccer Mom birthday post was funnier than his!

Ha!

Well they do say that humor is subjective.

And I am about as subjective as they get!

A Soccer Mom Is Born!

(sung to the tune of Banana Boat performed by Harry Belafonte)

"Four-oh, Fo-o-our-oh. The Soccer Mom is born with ten toes!"

We got us a birthday folks! Kirsten from The Soccer Mom Files has hit a milestone on February 8! Welcome to the big four-oh, Kirsten!

I wanted to get you something special for your birthday. I wracked my brain til it hurt...bad.

I couldn't decide between these two items.

First an autographed picture of YOUR one and only Rock of Love, Bret Michaels.

But he refused to sign the picture for me! Well!

I wonder if Heather or Ambre had something to do with it. It's hard to get an autograph with those two around. And yes, they are still around behind the scenes. Gah.

Then I realized that you were born in the year 1969. And of course, I thought of Bryan Adam's song Summer of '69. So my gift to you is a tweaked and quirkified version. A special birthday song for the birthday old hag girl.

Winter Of '69

I got my first real diaper
Bought it at the five-and-dime
Filled it till my diaper leaked
It was the winter of '69

Me and some babies from the hood
Had a play group and we tried real hard
Jimmy quit and Jody moved away
I shoulda known we'd never get far

Oh when I look back now
That winter seemed to last forever
And if I had the choice
Ya - I'd always wanna be there
Those were the baby days of my life

Ain't no use in complainin'
When you got a nap to take
Spent my evenin's down in the crib-in
And that's when I goo-gooed in your face

Standin' in your own play pen
You told me that we'd play forever
Oh and when you slobbered on my hand
I knew that it was now or never
Those were the baby days of my life

Back in the winter of '69.

And wouldn't you know it. Our special Soccer Mom Kirsten was born by extraordinary means when on this day in 1969, a meteorite weighing over one ton fell in Chihuahua, México. Attached to that meteorite was a little soccer ball and the cutest little squalling baby girl.

The rest is history.

Have the happiest of birthdays Soccer Mom! We blog you!

The Real Deal

Happy Bunny teaches conversational crap honesty.

Have you ever wondered what people are really thinking when you are engaged in conversation? Well wonder no more when you read the latest edition of Happy Bunny's book, "The Real Deal: Happy Bunny Dishes the Truth Behind the Words."

Let's face it. We all need more guidance and understanding in recognizing the truth. This book gives you the inside scoop on just how to do this. Here are a few examples.

Greeting: "Hi, how are you? You look great!"

The real deal: "Hi, Loser."

-----------------

Interested: "I love hearing your hemorrhoid stories."

The real deal: "Hey, you made me throw up a little."

-----------------

Excited: "Really, I just can't wait to hear about another one of your kid's recent achievements."

The real deal: "Not listening."

-----------------

Playful: "I can't believe you ate the whole cake!"

The real deal: "You suck and that's sad."

-----------------

Encouragement: "That is so terrific that you are going to
write your own book of cloud poetry."

The real deal: "Life. Get one."

-----------------

Comfort: "Oh no, you're not rambling."

The real deal: "Let's not bore each other. You start."

-----------------

Questioning: "He did not think you looked deliciously hot in your new bathing suit?"

The real deal: "It's not my fault. You're just icky."

-----------------

Motivational: "Hold onto your dreams, they keep hope alive."

The real deal: "I have a dream and in it something eats you."

-----------------

Encouragement: "I always knew you had it in you! You can do this."

The real deal: "Whatever, you moron."

-----------------

Placating: "Oh no, please don't stop with your story, it's fascinating!"

The real deal: "It's cute how you think I'm listening."

-----------------

Sadly: "Look at the time, I'm so sad that you have to leave already!"

The real deal: "You go girl. And don't come back."

-----------------

Every social being needs to have a copy of this book on his or her nightstand. With a few minutes of reading right before bed each night, the messages will sink into your subconsciousness helping you to better conversational and social skills. They will come so naturally before you know it.

Don't wait another minute. Order now! You won't regret it and you will have more confidence in your ability to spot the real deal behind the words.

The real deal: "Just send the money, Loser. I have grown tiresome of this conversation."

Road Rage Cures

Hackers rule!  Check this out.

 

Dear Hackers,

 

I want to personally thank you for your recent public service act.

 

The number of road rage incidents have decreased significantly and we owe it all to you. 

 

I was saddened to learn that Traffic Safety officials were not amused at your hacking success and even go as far as to wrongfully describe your act as a "prank."

I beg to differ.

 

Humor is a wonderful way to relieve stress. You obviously understand this and knew how helpful it would be to relieve driver's stress.  Unfortunately, this type of stress occurs often and until now there were very few reactionary options for an angry driver to choose from.

 

Typically your stressed out driver would:

1. Clench their teeth. Often, this resulted in expensive dental repair work. And some studies have shown an increase of blood-pressure. This is not a good thing.
2. Whisper profanities under his or her breath. This in turn would offend many lip readers.  Statistics show that today over 60% of the population can and do read lips. And for some reason these lip readers always seem to have a piece of fruit or vegetable nearby. Inevitably, after successfully reading your lips, they will retaliate by throwing one of these items your way in hopes of breaking or cracking your windshield or car door window.
3. Throw their hands up in disgust at other drivers.  All too often this can cause a chain reaction from other drivers who will angrily join in and use the "look Mom, no hands" method of steering their vehicles. This results in a higher percentage of car dings and dents and stray bumpers being scattered across the roads causing a safety hazard for other drivers not involved in the fray.
4. Give another driver the "finger" or even worse the double "fingers." All too often this results in your side-view mirror being ripped off as the newly angered car driver drives as fast and as close as possible to you purposely hitting and bumping into your car a repeated number of times. If at first they do not succeed, they will indeed try try again.
5. Pull out a gun and start shooting.  Depending on how many victims are shot and actually die, the offending shooter could get jail time and an expensive fine. This is not a good thing.

Now you humorous hackers offer them another choice.  A better choice.  

 

Humor.

 

By quickly diverting the attention of the would be angry driver to a "pranked up" sign, the anger episode can quickly dissolve and turn into smiles and giggles instead of anger and frustration.

 

And that, my dear hackers, makes the world of driving a happier and joyful thing. The roads are now safer and less stressful.  Drives to and from work; drives to and from your favorite eatery; even drives to and from your colonoscopy procedure can actually be entertaining and relaxing.

 

You have indeed done a wonderful service for drivers all across our nation. It is a shame that you will go unrecognized for your efforts.  It is sad that they seek you out to charge you with pathetic minor offenses.

 

Please continue to do your good deeds.  Warn us of the Zombies or Raptors ahead. And might I suggest an Alien warning sign? Your humorous hacking signs will make all of us laugh and share an entertaining moment together.  After all, we are all on this road journey we call life together.  Let's make it a happy, safe, and fun one.

 

Know that you have the gratitude and support of at least one former road-rager---me.

 

Yours Truly,

 

Quirkyloon

Cell #A3

Florence State Prison

Florence, Arizona