That's It!

It can only be described as a musical injustice.

I have had the unpleasant experience of receiving an earful of harrowing musical injustices over the years. But recently, it all came to a head.

While waiting in a doctor's office, I had the displeasure of having to listen to some of the most insipid music ever "created." I use the word "created" loosely. Sometimes there simply is no justice to explain how on earth, anybody in their right mind would ever write, produce, record, let alone sing certain songs.

Something wicked was in the musical airwaves that fateful afternoon. It was unreal. How could so much atrocious music be jammed together for a half-hour? So what did I do? I took the time to scribble the song titles in the border of my Sudoku puzzle page.

Lucky you.

I present to you the Top Ten Musical Injustices in the Hall of Quirky Infamy.

1. We Built This City by Jefferson Starship. What were they thinking? This is the same group that came up with White Rabbit? I think they should have stuck with the airplane and leave the star ships to astronauts or aliens.
   
2. Undercover Angel by Alan O'Day. I said, What? We say, ooooooucheee! I said alright? I say spare me, spare me, spare me! Oh yeah, my lyrics are much, much better. No?
   
3. Uptown Girl by Billy Joel. I know I'm going to get flack for this one. I acknowledge and recognize that Joel can play the piano and he plays it extremely well. But his music? Major chunks of cheese. And the Brie, Edam or Swiss flavor of Joel "music" is Uptown Girl. Blech! Have you ever noticed how Swiss smells like stinky feet?
   
4. Wake Me Up Before You Go Go by Wham. Come on. You knew this would make the list, didn't you? The sad thing about this song is it became popular during the pre-CD era. This was also a pre-burning CD era, and definitely not even a wink of a celestial satellite radio station was even conceived yet. In other words, with no other viable options, you were stuck listening to this crap.
   
5. Don't Give Up Us On Baby by David Soul. "Don't give up on us, baby. Don't make the wrong seem right." That is the exact reason why this song makes the cut. Ain't no-way, no-how this song is "right" in any way shape or form! It is simply wrong, wrong, wrong!
   
6. Here I Am (Just When I Thought I Was Over You) by Air Supply. Gag. My stomach is feeling sour.
   
7. Lost In Love by Air Supply. Double gag. Uh oh, the acid is really starting to slosh around.
   
8. Even The Nights Are Better by Air Supply. Triple gag. Oh no, was that a mini-episode of acid reflux?
   
9. All Out Of Love by Air Supply. Quadruple gag. Are you sensing a theme yet?And another not so mini-episode of acid reflux.
   
10. Making Love Out of Nothing At All by Air Supply. Gag to the nth degree. Excuse me while I hurl. Hands down this "band" holds the blatant honor of producing such hurl-inducing tunes that make me want to drag my non-existent fingernails on a chalkboard. Oh no you don't! Don't you dare call me a hater. Listen to these Air Supply "songs" again and answer me this: WHO is being hateful? Uh-huh, I thought so.

There you have it.

What made me so lucky that the Muzak station that day was playing these barbaric strains?

Muzak tormented me.

And I don't appreciate that.

Hence, I have decided. Muzak is of the devil.

And if that is not an injustice to the entire music industry and its innocent listeners (like you and me) than what is?







B.S. No members of the "band" Air Supply were harmed during the production of this post. Many malicious and violent thoughts were entertained, but not acted upon (yet).