Today's Qliche is brought to you by:
Campbell's Chunky Soups
Chunky Clam Chowder
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And now...
The "qliche" of the day is: happy as a clam.
Never has a statement been more false.
Our poor little bivalve mollusk friends.
Would you be happy if you laid in mud all day long? Would you be happy that you have no head or eyes? Would you be happy to have only "kidneys, a heart, a mouth, and an ANUS?" Is that enough to feel happy about?
Clams fear being eaten by sharks and squid and they do us the great service of eating Plankton.
That evil dastardly little villain! I say good riddance to him and others like him. You are probably unaware that the oceans are being overrun with plankton. It's out of control.So how do humans repay the clams who perform this great service? Oh, they claw and rake their way through the mud so they can capture the clams with their wicked rakes and shovels of death and destruction. How would you feel if you were raked and collected, and then tortured by steaming, boiling or baking? If I were to take a stab at it, I'd say you would probably be not too happy.
Sometimes they are even turned into chowder! What an abomination! And have you ever noticed the physical resemblance of clam chowder to vomit? They both have chunks, they both contain strange looking liquids, they both are smelly. Tell me, would you want to look or smell like vomit?
That, my friends, is what clams have to look forward to.
A true injustice for our bivalved mollusk friends.
So when you say, "happy as a clam?"
I say: I think not.
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Don't forget to visit our sponsor: Campbell's Soup. And for today only, the first 100 people who visit their website will have access to a 50% off special coupon for Campbell's Soup Chunky Clam Chowder!
That's all for today folks. Thanks for tuning in to QROK and remember the more we rock, the groovier we'll be!
Tune in tomorrow when we discuss eyelash mites.
I want to wish you all a rawkin' day and until tomorrow, I leave you with a "Q-bye Bah bye!"
B.S. Since Quirkyloon is allergic to seafood, no clams were harmed during the production of this post.
8 comments:
Forget sharks and squids - they have to fear being eaten by The Old Silly!
Allergic to seafood? Hell, I''m on a seafood diet. Yeah, I sea food, I eat it! hahahahaha...oh boy, bet ya didn't see that comin'.
I may be happy as a clam some days, but I prefer not to eat clams... too rubbery! So that makes the clams happy too.
Do Zombies ever eat clams... when human brainz aren't available?
I will not eat clams - I won't eat clams with ham I don't care if clam rhymes with glam. Ok I got nutthin past that. Except thanks for the visual comparing chowder to vomit - I wondered why I loathed that crap.
Now what can we be happy as - a Quirky???
But clams are always smiling. They must be happy.
First pineapple and ham and now clams?
Do you also have a problem with yams?
You're scaring me, QuirkySam.
i am pretty happy when the clams are in my belly!
@TheOldSilly CLAM HATER!
@Noname Oh Dude! You got me again! Seafood = see food? HA!
@Catlady I'll be sure to mention it to the zombies. Q writes: clams great brainz substitute!
@Joanne Hee hee No clams I am, no clams I am! I will not eat no clams! hee hee
@Reffie hee hee hee? Yes, I do. Can we still be friends? hee hee
@Brian Miller Well when the plankton evolve and overrun the earth... you'll only have yourself to blame! Ha!
No clams for me either! Never liked 'em, never will!
And what is with Clamato juice? Poor tomato having to be mixed with that slimy mollusk...UGH!
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