Pineapples have been known for their sweet juicy goodness since Christopher Columbus discovered them back in 1493 on the island of Guadeloupe.
Why even "I cannot tell a lie," George Washington declared it as his favorite tropical fruit when he first tasted it.
Pineapples are wonderful, juicy sweet treat.
But not on pizza.
Yes, I know, I know that pineapple has been a major staple of ham glazes for centuries. Pineapples accept this. They know that they add flavorful juices to hams.
But when you add ham and pineapple to a pizza?
That, my friends, is an injustice.
A huge injustice.
Why?
Because pineapple and tomato sauce do not mix. They are polar opposites in taste and texture. They only similarity they share is their acidic nature and of course, they are both fruits. But taste wise, they do NOT belong together.
Pineapples are weary of being placed on a slab of cheesy dough and misnamed as "Hawaiian Pizza."
Pineapples were imported to Hawaii from South America. Why aren't they called Brazilian Pizza or Guatemalan Pizza.
Pfft.
Pineapples want to be heard and they want humans to understand one thing.
It is offensive to pineapples everywhere to prepare them with pizza sauce. The pineapples lose most of their juicy sweetness and their lovely flavor is eclipsed by the tomato taste of pizza sauce.
They feel under valued and under appreciated.
After all how can one enjoy the soggy, tomatoed down, cheesy taste of a piece of baked pineapple on a pizza.
They cannot.
Pineapples acknowledge, accept, and encourage humans to consume them in jello salads, cakes (upside down or right side up, they don't care), or just plain raw.
They are delicious goodness in their correct element.
And pizza is NOT an acceptable element.
Oh, and don't even get the pineapples started about their shells being used an underwater home for a certain sponge.
"Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. Sponge Bob Square Pants!"
Ahem.
It's wrong!
The pineapples are fed up.
They have had it.
They are ready to blow.
Blow
B.S. No pineapples were mistakenly baked on a any pizzas during the production of this post.
13 comments:
Gotta agree with you up to a point. I don't like ham and pineapple pizza, but I do like pepperoni and pineapple. I also don't put any pizza sauce on my pizza. If I want a tomato taste, I put some tomato's on it! My pizza's are crust, cheese, meat, cheese, more meat, more cheese, veggies/fruit, and even more cheese. Now that's a pizza! Oh yeah, the spices that would normally be in the sauce, I put them in the dough :)
"You're ALMOST right on this one. Ham and pineapple ONLY go together if you add anchovies. Then the gastrointestinal reaction is balanced and the person who eats of the pizza is spared his or her life," said The Old Silly as he munched on a thick slice of ham, pineapple and anchovie pizza.
I love Hawaiian PIzza...it's the salty and sweet combo.
Plus I'm not a big fan of pizza in general and it is the most non pizzaish.
so there.
@Skye I knew this would become a controversial post. *sigh* hee hee hee
@Marvin NOOOOOOOOO! Anchovies? Now I'm afraid, very afraid.
@Mamaface Another UNbeliever. *sigh* I've got my work cut out for me! hee hee hee
Okay, believe it or not, I have never had a pineapple and ham pizza. But, I have had a pineapple teriyaki hamburger (no tomato) - soooo good.
I hate pineapple. Except the one time I had it on a pizza. It was actually delicious. I had 2 slices. Go figure.
I am going to quietly sit here and notice a theme starting this week. Ohhh I wonder what tomorrow's installment is going to be - square vs round? Deep vs thin?
So many pizza's so few blogs.
Pineapples? The ones who should REALLY be upset here are the pizzas! Being polluted with a prickly Hawaiian fruit like that? Madness, I tell you!
Pepperoni, sausage, onions, mushrooms . . . that's about it. Don't overthink the pizza!
I would not, could not, on a pizza.
I would not, could not, in Chichen Itza (yeah, it rhymes)
I would not, could not, with tomatoes.
I would not, could not, with fried potatoes.
But I do like pineapple and ham.
I do like them, Sam-I-am.
Oh, the poor, poor pineapple; such abuse.
I will have you know that I hold my pineapple in the highest regard! On a "hawaiian" pizza, it is the pineapple that makes the taste of it. It's wonderful tang brings out the best of the ham & tomato sauce. The pineapple's juice is tasted first in all of its sweet deliciousness & then combines with the other ingredients to make it into something they could never be without the pineapple! VIVA LA PINEAPPLE!
Love Reffie's comment!
I can say with impunity that I have never had pineapple on pizza.
Because pineapple doesn't go well with Dr Pepper.
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