Paper Clips And Rubber Bands Fear Me

Many moons ago, I committed a ghastly ("ly" ha to you Marvin!) injustice to paper clips and rubberbands.

You see once upon a time, a Quirkyloon was working her way through college. She worked for a utility company (that shall rename UNnamed) as an emergency dispatcher.

What a joke.

Like I could help ANYBODY during an electrical outage. Yep, those linemen were depending on ME to tell them accurate information regarding outages so they could get people back in power.

At the time, it was great job for me because I needed a flexible schedule and this position provided it.

You know it really sucked during my junior and senior years at college that certain required courses were only offered once a year and only met at 2:40 p.m. on Tuesdays.

Yeesh.

Howza a Quirkyloon supposed to support herself with a job and go to school?

It was tough.

No, no need for violins this time, but thanks for offering.

Before I started working as a dispatcher, I worked in a different department for the same company.

Let's say the manager in this department liked to give me a very hard time. Talk about an injustice.

I think he was secretly crushing on me. Definitely an injustice.

This was pre-sexual harrasment days.

He would comment on my clothes, my hair, my make-up, my earrings, my everything. He would hang out at my desk all day, making small talk with others, while keeping an eye on me. A horrific injustice.

I disliked him. Immensely.

He made me feel very uncomfortable.

So after I left that department and moved to the dispatching position which happened to be located in a completely different building, I told a co-worker about this previous manager.

This co-worker ended up becoming a great friend. She had a great evil streak in her, just like me. I just kept mine a little more hidden.

One slow day, we put our evil minds together and concocted a way to get back at this manager.

Naturally, we started collecting paper-clips and rubberbands.

After a couple of weeks, we had a lot paper-clips and rubberbands galore. We took an inter-office envelope and filled it to capacity with the paper clips and rubberbands and then I did my best left-handed writing to address it to this manager. (I'm a rightie.)

Off it went into the inter-office mail bin.

I was still friends with another girl who still worked in that department. Very casually, I asked her one day how things were going there.

Of course, this envelope incident or the PCRBgate (Paper Clip Rubber Band) as I liked to call it, stood out in her mind.

I was sooooo good.

I never let on one teensy weensy bit, that I co-partnered this act of contempt!

I could not risk it. But when she told me about it, I laughed and laughed and laughed.

I couldn't wait to go back and tell my co-worker about the success of our prank!

And boy howdy, did we roll with laughter.

To this day, I can't help but smile when I see or use a paperclip or a rubberband.

I remember this mischievous act with great fondness.

I know one day I will pay for this sin.

But until then?

I smile.




B.S. No paperclips or rubberbands were harmed or mailed to anybody that I know during the production of this post. But beware, you cross me? You never know what might happen! I'm capable of worse, much worse. *wagging eyebrows*