Mind Your Holiday Q's

"Hon, could you put another log on the fire?"

The fire crackled as Hon gingerly placed another log on the fire. He smiled warmly at Q. Snuggled up in a warm quilt, Quirkyloon took a sip of her steaming hot chocolate and started reading her book, the latest selection from Oprah's Bookclub.

The Quirkyloons had finished decorating their house for the holidays. There were stockings hanging on the mantle and little crystal Christmas trees adorned the tables and shelves of the room. A collection of Christmas Angels spruced up the mantle as well. And the tree, oh the tree! Beautiful lace garland with frilly white angel ornaments and luscious red velvet clusters of berries decorated the tree. Wooden sleighs and long crystal icicles completed the picture of perfection.

Plush, soft quilts were in a hand painted cedar box with a vine border. The box was used as a coffee table. It offset the huge, dark chocolate micro-suede sectional sofa. An overflowing bookcase lined one of the room's pale blue walls, everything from the classics to Stephen King. Soft Christmas music was playing on their Bose music system in the background.

The plasma television set was in wall screen mode with a picture of an old wooden cabin nestled up against snowy pine trees with smoke curling out the chimney. The detail and clarity were exceptional.

Quirky husband was smiling and happy, the boys were quietly doing a jigsaw puzzle at a corner table. They were getting along so well as they always do.

It was a peaceful, serene setting.

*record scratches*

Hold the phone!

Huh? What's with the picture perfect setting Q? You know that is NOT your real life.

Get a load of Q's Real World

Quirkyloon woke up in a sweat with the ceiling fan whirling away trying to cool her off. She sent Quirky Son #1 to the kitchen to get her a tall glass of ice and a can of Diet Dr. Pepper. "Who put this blanket on me! It's 80 degrees outside! I don't need a blanket!" She got up from her stained worn couch and rapped on the wall of her son's bedroom. She tripped on a Tech Deck toy.

"Cri-min-neeeeeeee! Who left this toy here? I'm throwing it away right now!"

"No Mom, please don't! I'll put it away." QS#2 pleaded.

Quirky snorted. "Fine."

"And where's my Diet Dr. Pepper? QS#1 turn down your amp! It's too loud."

Quirky Son #1 appeared and with a look of boredom gave her the ice-cold drink. "Ahhh! That's better. Now where is my book?" She starts searching through some boxes lined up along one wall and searches for a good read. "What's this? 'Owen Fiddler?' Oh yeah, read that one already. Pretty good read. Ah, this sounds like a good one, 'Zombie Baby.'" She yawns.

The boys start bickering. "Mom he's touching me!" "Mom he won't stop taking my stuff!" "Mom, he hit me." "Mom, why doesn't he get into trouble?" "It's not fair Mom!"

"If you two keep fighting, you're both going to your rooms and no Christmas gifts for you! I'm calling Santa and telling him the deal's off!"

Quirky sons quiet down immediately and silently glare at each other.

Quirky husband comes home through the front door looking haggard and tired from a long day's work.

"Hi Hon. Where's the remote?"

He plops down on the old recliner and starts clicking through the channels. "I can't wait until we can afford to buy a new t.v. I think we're the only family that doesn't have a flat screen t.v."

"I know Hon. And do you think we could get rid of the 13" black and white television in our room? I know it's a lot to ask, but maybe?"

Kids interrupt (as they usually do): "Mom when are we going to start decorating for the holidays?"

Ugh.

She thinks to herself: "Do we have to? It looks fine without all that cheap WalMart crap I bought last year. I think one of the angels is really a gnome. How did I get that mixed up? Oh yeah, we have all those leftover chocolate covered cherries to give away. They're what? Two years old now? Yeah, they should still be good. Those things never go bad. I can't believe it's already that time of the year again! Just wake me when it's over!"

Yes, this Quirky family is geared up and ready to take on another holiday season.

"Hmm, I wonder if I can find that fruitcake in one of these boxes. I know we didn't eat it. Where did that fruitcake go? I know just who to give it to! We drew Dad's name for our Christmas gift exchange this year. I'm quite sure my father-in-law would like that slab of fruitcake because I heard him say he wants to use it as a paper weight for his desk."

Just keeping things real, folks.

Real real.

Q style.

It's never outdated.






B.S. No Christmas decorations or any holiday decorations were harmed during the production of this post. They were all harmed when they were being put away last holiday season. Anybody want a broken Christmas gnome?