Nightmare on Q Street

Hallooooo Halloween!

Oh, and a big Hallooooo to you too!

You're back!

I'm surprised and yet so very glad.

Welcome back to my part of the HBDC Halloween Humor Carnival 2009!

It's day 4 and I'm sure you all are wondering what Quirky has conjured up today. Don't forget to go to HBDC each day this week. There will be other posts honoring the dead and the UNdead (my particular favorite).

And now, I give to you: La Quirkyloon Fear Fest-Installment #4 aka Quirkyloon's contribution to HBDC Halloween Humor Carnival 2009.

(Insert Vincent Price evil laugh here....Finally! He's back!)

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I had the most frightening nightmare last night.

Of course, I have to share it with all of you.

It was stranger than most of my dreams. I usually dream about swimming in a pool of Diet Dr. Pepper, or riding around on a Harley (sweet) on an endless mountain road, or visiting Barney the Dinosaur.

You know, typical dream stuffs.

But last night was beyond frightening.

It started out with me hopping around. I couldn't stop hopping.

Hop. Hop. Hop. Hippity. Hop.

Then I landed into... a carnival?

Whoa.

First, I was riding on a ferris wheel. But this ferris was not like any ferris wheel I've ever ridden on before. The operator of this ride was the very smart and witty blogger: Knucklehead! He was sporting quite an evil grin.

I was stuck in the gondola and every time it started moving, a clenched fist would appear in the air before me. Then this mean, tight, hardened, knuckle-clenched fist would punch me right in the kisser every time the gondola moved! I could hear a very faint "bwahahahaha" coming from below. I suspect Mr. Knucklehead.

Kapow! Ouch! That's not very nice.

I was starting to feel grateful when I finally left the Knuckle-Sandwich Ferris Wheel until I reached my second destination: the roller coaster. Again, this was no ordinary roller coaster. Each car was designed to look like brains! Now ordinarily this would thrill me, but this did not. I had a bad, bad feeling about this.

These brains looked familiar in a not so friendly way. Were those C.B. Jones' brains? The very brains that reside at Mindful Drivel? I think yes!

The brain-car started chug, chug, chugging its way to the top and then as we flew down the rail, everybody's head was sliced open and our brains spilled out! And I could hear C.B. Jones laughing hysterically at us all. It was crueler than cruel, not to mention very mind boggling.

I'm quite sure I screamed in my sleep.

But that scream was cut short by another dream transition bounce onto... Da Old Man's Zucchini Slide! What the zucchini? Yes, the entire slide looked like a giant zucchini. Boy howdy, that was one very large zuke. But the horrific part was when you reached the top of the stairs, they would give you a mat and a warning that the lane bumpers were actually sharpened razor blades! So you had to make doubly sure that you kept your arms held tightly to your sides. If you didn't, you could slice a thin strip of your biceps on the way down. (Hmm, I wonder if that would work for saddle-bags?)

Gulp.

Gratefully, I woke up for a potty break and while on the pot, I mused upon this nightmare. I started silently repeating in my head: "puppies and rainbows, puppies and rainbows." Anything to be completely done with this horrific nightmare.

After a gentle wipe, a thorough hand washing, I returned to my bed and placed my Quirky flat-head back onto my pillow and sank deeply into another sleep.

I'm afraid the "puppies and rainbows" refrain did NOT work.

I was quickly catapulted right back into the same nightmare.

Now I was on a carousel. This carousel, instead of having pretty and cute wooden horses and such, had wooden GNOMES! These gnomes looked just like the ones VE rules over at VE's Fantastical Nonsense. Each gnome had an evil grin and was holding an axe. The music started and then the wooden gnomes began going up and down, up and down. Only each time a gnome came back down, it took a whack with its' axe on the riders' head, splitting it wide open. I was shivering with fear and pure terror, because I was now one of those riders! Those gnomes had me petrified. I just know that I recognized at least one of them as a "VE" gnome.

Hateful gnomes!

I think I went into a state of shock, when suddenly my surroundings abruptly changed.

You know how dreams do that sometimes.

Now I was spinning around and around in a Tea Cup ride! My head was spinning and I kept spinning faster and faster and faster! Now, I like a good head rush once in awhile, but this was out of control. And to top off this nightmarish experience I had little minions flying around my head and singing to me:

"I'm a little teapot
Short and stout
This is my handle
This is my spout."

But the out of control spinning and the ditty were not the worst part of this nightmare.

The worst part was WHO was doing the singing.

Would you like to take a stab at it?

Have you guessed yet?



It was....

<=====HIM!




Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!





B.S. No Quirkyloons were harmed during the production of this post yet, but shh! Quirky is still sleeping... and nightmaring... on Q Street!