Quirky Q's Sans A's

Is there a reason why Spanish nuts are always singled out? Is our hatred of illegal Mexicans in the U.S. spilling over into the nut world? Can't we all just be nuts without alluding to the differences between cashews and almonds, macadamias and pecans, etc., etc., etc? Can't we focus on the positive that all nuts are delicious to the taste and somewhat healthy for the body. Yes, even the Spanish nuts. Take pity on the nuts, especially our Hermana nuts.

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When I see all the pencils lined up at the stores, I go out and caress a tree. I hope it feels my sympathy that I acknowledge and appreciate that it's sister tree was cut, destroyed, and mutilated, so it could serve me as a writing utensil. But ofttimes when I reach out for the tree touch, I get a sliver in my finger. And it hurts for many hours. Hateful trees.

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It's always best to carry a switchblade in your purse, so when E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial approaches you and extends his finger out to you? You can slice it right off. There, there now that's better. Extra Terrestrials have proven themselves to be a bigger nuisance than rats. It would be better if they stayed on their planets and we will stay on ours. Yes, it is time for decisive and slice-ive action, for it is better to be safe than sorry. Plus, you just never know where that finger has been.

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This portion of our program has been brought to you by Children of the Corn Nibblers. Found in your grocer's frozen food section. Buy some today!

Thank-you for tuning into Quirky Q's Sans A's. Come back next week, when Quirky questions and ponders "Buy Dentures" or "Go Gummy."