Here! Hear!

Wilson Phillips Still Holding On Reality TV Show

Wilson Phillips.

Apparently the lyrical trio have a new reality t.v. show! 

Whoda thunk it?

Not me.

However, does a reality show on the T.V. Guide Network channel count? 

Or does it have to be on a "real" station?

But according to Chynna Phillips, "Wilson Phillips is BACK."

And according to Carnie Wilson, "Wilson Phillips is ready to conquer the world."

And of course, Wendy Wilson says nothing. Does she even sing?

Anyhoo, really Wilson Phillips? After what? A 20-year hiatus, or something ridiculous like that, you all are "back?"

Well, I guess it really doesn't take much these days, does it?

Hey, guess what?

Yours truly happens to be back too.

Yep, I bet you didn't even realize it. Didja?

Does it matter that I never left?

You read it here first: Quirky is "back" to take the blogging world by storm.

Yeah.

*crickets*

That's funny. I somehow thought I would HEAR applause or some sort of approval and agreement.

But then again, my hearing IS almost gone. And I highly suspect it won't be "back."

Yeah, I'm pretty sure the cotton in my ears? That's what the problem is hear, erm, I mean HERE.

Or could it be my singing? 

Although, I did have one person describe my lovely crooning as "croaking" which made me blush with pride.

Hence, a silly, SILLY doubt. My singing: bad?

Possible, but highly UNlikely.

My vocal croaking is still the bomb diggity.

*ribbet*

But I bet I could give Carnie a run for who can scarf down a cheesecake faster!

Or a steak.

Or guzzle down a six pack of ice-cold Diet Dr. Pepper.

I'm an equal opportunity scarfer.

And guzzler.

And croaker.

Ya HEAR?

*ribbet*

B.S. No frogs or toads were harmed during the production of this post.

Yo Mama Says You Ugly...

Ugly is in the eye of the beholder.

I was watching a nature program on PBS yesterday when I had an epiphany.

Hyena says, "You look delish."

Hyenas are NOT cute and cuddly.

They have the face (and body) that only a Mother could love.

So this, of course, led me to the God, no, make that Goddess of this earth: Google.

And, of course, Google is a SHE.

And she is the God of this earth.

But we Mother Figures give her some competition.

Because there is nothing more "godlike" than being a Mother figure.

Oh, and absolutely, positively NO genes necessary. Aunt, Godmother, Grandmother, Friend of a friend, Friend of THAT friend, Long distance Mothers, Short Distance Mothers, Adoptive Mothers, Den Mothers, Dorm Mothers, Yo Mama Mothers. Yep, they all do it well.

Tsk, tsk.

How dare ye doubt.

Well "The Goddess Google" found images of some real nastay, ugly creatures that abide in our common domain: the planet earth.

And let me tell you, they definitely have the face (and bodies) that only a Mother could love.

Because they put the "nas" to the "tay."

And then some.

Molerat says, "You smell like cheese. Delish."

Heebeejeebies yet?

I can do better.

Ayeaye says, "Yo quiero Taco Hell! And you look delish."

Still not utterly horrified?

Yeesh.

A tough crowd today.

Blobfish says, "Don't I look delish? On a cracker? Maybe?"

Okay, I need to go eat an entire cheesecake or something.

I'm in serious need of some major soul soothing.

*shudder*

Oh, and go figure, the article I found listing the ten most ugliest animals? 

No hyenas!

Ah-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-aye!  (Hyena sound)

Not to be outdone....

Ay, yi, yi! (Quirkyloon sound)

Hmm.

Pretty similar.

Oh, and...

Happy YO MAMA Day!

B.S. No vegetarians, carnivores, or cannibals were harmed during the production of this post.

Self Booby Analysis

For decades now I've been self analyzing myself: trying to figure out what's wrong with me and what, if anything, can I change to improve my low self-esteem, and every other anxiety ailment that exists out there that severely afflicts my loony psyche (and even some that don't, but they will, I'm quite sure of it).

And finally, Time Magazine has clued me into what went wrong in my childhood that has been the cause of ALL my past and present problems (and any future problems that may creep up, and they will, like clockwork).

It's this:

Got Milk?

I'm quite sure I was cut off too soon.

Yep.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Blame it on the Mom.

It is always the Mom at fault.

Always.

Thank goodness my boys won't be able to blame me.

Oh wait.

They got cut off too soon too.

Whoops.

B.S. No mammary glands were harmed during the production of this post.