Four Letter Words!

My 9-year-old brought home his own personal Student Dictionary yesterday.

The book is not very large, but apparently is filled with great information.

According to him.

But thank heavens he checked it out before allowing me to see it.

He assured me that after a thorough investigation there were NO bad words to be found in it.

Well this is reassuring.

What's NOT so reassuring?

How did he know what those "bad" words were?

Ahem.

*red face*

I'm not admitting to ANYTHING.

I know nothing!

Nothing.


Yeah, me and Sargeant Shultz.








B.S. No bibliophiles were harmed during the production of this post.

Jack McCoy Vs. Juan Martinez

I know Jack McCoy and Mr. Martinez? You Sir, are no Jack McCoy.

So I've been enveloped in this sordid Jodi Arias case.

I tried to stay away, but it tethered me and I'm being hit around and around, just like a tether ball.

Thanks to HLN online you can watch anything and everything regarding this case.

Jodi was a bad, bad girl.

She did a horrible, horrible thing.

It makes me sick to my stomach.

All the lies.

The stab wounds.

The shot to the head.

The neck slice.

Ugh.

The neck slice.

I had the opportunity to view the graphic photos of his wounds. At first, I hesitated, but curiosity got the better of me and those photos proved the cliche true.

A picture is worth a thousand words.

That picture [the neck slice] convicted her 100 percent in my not so humble opinion.

My heart is heavy for the family of Travis Alexander. It is heavy for the family of Jodi Arias. I'm not sure how I would feel to watch my child be exposed for the great evil he or she is capable of doing.

It's sickening.

And now I am somewhat surprised that the jury has not finished their deliberations and stated their verdict.

Real surprised.

But what was even more surprising was watching "Pitbull" Juan Martinez go at it during the course of the trial, especially his closing arguments.

It was NOTHING like Jack McCoy on a Law & Order episode. I mean Jack gets passionate. So does Mr. Martinez. Jack gets impatient. So does Mr. Martinez. Jack spends about three solid minutes giving his effective, poignant closing arguments. So does NOT Mr. Martinez.

It was a whole flippin' day.

Then Kurt Nurmi did the same thing for the Defense team for another flippin' day.

It took a long, long time to slog through it all.

I guess I'm a product of our society. I want to know everything and I want it resolved YESTERDAY. We don't like to wait or be patient. We like our stories wrapped up, all nice and neat, and preferably in 44 minutes.

Four months later, this trial is not yet over.

Ay, yi, yi.

But I feel confident that just like Jack McCoy who wins most of his cases; I think Juan Martinez is going to win this one too.

Yeah, you could say it's almost...

Dun, dun!

Almost done.

Thank heavens.







B.S. No lawyers, real or fictional, were harmed during the production of this post.

Happy Birfday!

I'm all hopped up on pain killers so I figured this would be the best time to wish my buddy Dufus a Happity Hippity Birfday!

Oh, and I did have several special guest posters lined up, but they never got back to me. Hmm. I just can't figger out why.

*snore*

Whoopsy, I dozed off.

Where was I?

Oh, yeah. The Dufus!

Now don't go yapping at once everyone, but when I found out what number birthday this is for Dude Dufus? Whoo-wee. Yowzah! He is "an" to the "cient!" I think he might have been buddies with Noah. And now we know why the unicorn never made it to the ark. It's okay Dufus. You're still okay in my [good] book.

However, Dufus was quite the young stud pup when he was wooing his lady love[s] with some Rolling Stones. "Let's spend the night together!"  I have it on good authority that "it" happened. Many times. Yes, our beloved Dufus was a bit of a manwhore, but who's judging? Anyhoo, this was WAY before my time. Ahem. *toldja...OLD!*

And when Dufus found out that he was finally going to be an emptynester he went around the house for days humming "I've gotta peaceful easy feeling." That Glen Frey. He's pretty much a has-been these days, but still he never replied to my bajillion tweets so he could wish the Dufus a happening birfday. That's not very nice Mr. Frey. And I hope "the heat is on" and burns your house down for letting my good buddy Dufus down! Yeesh. You get a couple of platinum albums then you think you're all that and a bag of chips.




Oh yeah, and one very special rocker was supposed to sing a special birthday medley. Yes, zombie Steven Tyler was gonna remind Dufus that he "don't want to miss a thing," and how "amazing with the blink of an eye you finally see the light," at the end of an MRI scan.  Plus, he was going to remind him not to mess with Nurse Janie, cuz she's probably gotta gun filled with nasty chemo drugs ready to shoot him up!

I've never cared for her.


Anyway, I just can't figger out why they never answered me.

I mean I would not have forgotten to send those emails, would I?

Let me go double check my outgoing mail.

*five minutes later*

Uhm. Whooops.

I am so sorry Dufus!  I could have sworn I sent them.

Damn chemo brain.

You too? Yeah.

However, it is your birthday right?

Cuz they say it's your birfday, gonna have a good time!

*whispers*

What now?

Its birthday, not birfday? It's figure, not figger?

Ay, yi, yi.

Picky persnickety ain't we?

Somethings are harder to figger out than others.

Oh well.

Well let's see if this chemo-addled brain can send one simple, but important message to the delicious, slurp-worthy Dufus brain.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DUFUS!

And many more!


B.S. Thanks to Cheryl at Deckside Thoughts for organizing the birthday party, buying the cake, and providing the la pinata! Next time, please don't forget the Diet Dr. Pepper. I thirst.